Since I was a little girl, during moments of failure, hopelessness, heartache, or doubt, my mother would refer to the fable, The Eagle and the Chicken – a story about being who you are meant to be despite situations that limit the understanding of your potential or the crowd surrounding you. Almost 24 years later and I still hear about how the eagle clucked along with chickens unaware that he was essentially the king of the sky – a majestic beast capable of hunting creatures much larger than the one he sought to be. Even after realizing his potential, he feared extending the very wings meant to make him soar far into a place chickens can only dream.
My mother, a woman that is encircled by what it seems to be a cast iron shell allows for none of the emotions listed above. If so, she says, “It best be short-lived.”
I know what you’re thinking – sounds a bit discordant, maybe a tad unsympathetic. And if I tell you she is a single mother of four and a full-time, self-employed business owner with little time for herself, you may conclude she is jaded – exhausted by the cards she’s been dealt, tainted by a man’s inability to recognize her worth or perhaps her own incapacity to treasure her differences. Wrong. She is independent in her career, deeply devoted to her family, generous with her success, and confident in her demeanor. She knows exactly what it means to be completely self-loving – to be authentic from the inside out – to be, well, her, the rawest and most natural being stitched with everything it means to be extraordinary.
But this transformation didn’t come easy. Her resilience and self-assurance was not handed to her like trinkets from wealthy parents but more like The Purple Heart granted by the president after combat. She has indeed fallen, been bruised and fractured, yet it is from that she rises, heals, and infuses into someone better than she was before. After all, cracked does not mean broken, and even then broken does not mean incapacitated but rather ready for repair, improvement, and regeneration. So it is exactly that in which she hopes to prevent me from enduring because like any mother the idea of your children misplacing their dignity, misusing their qualities or losing sight of who they are is tremendously daunting whether it is self-inflicted or I suppose influenced by…chickens.
She’ll say things like, “Your heart is too soft,” “Don’t let someone have this much power over you.” “If you don’t learn to love yourself first, you will never love another.” “I don’t want to see your eyes that way, swollen and filled with tears intended by some selfish, undeserving boy, you’re better than that…toughen up” (after finally cutting ties with my high school boyfriend, you know, the boy you are convinced you have to marry just to fit the novel – absolutely irrational and completely imprudent). Or my favorite, “I didn’t know I raised such a stupid girl.” But in the moment it doesn’t matter, right? She can present prince charming but the tears are still crucial.
After all, there is an importance in experiencing failure, hopelessness, heartache or doubt as it is well known that without these feelings we couldn’t fully appreciate moments of success, happiness, love or buoyancy. But I understand her rebuttal as it is also indisputable that dwelling in any pool of negativity will indeed anchor you from ever reaching a higher level of self-fulfillment. Even worse, like my mother would say, “Sulking will leave your spirit starved from the nourishment needed to sustain strong physical, emotional and mental health.” So know where to draw the line.
Now, I know you’re sitting there debating whether or not you’ve been living the life of a chicken or if you’ve mastered your royalty. Either way, whether it is taking a hammer to your outer shell and embracing what lies beneath or learning to stop allowing the expectations and principles of others monitor your choices, The Eagle and the Chicken is a parable that promotes individualism. It encourages you to recognize your value, to think for yourself, to live life without succumbing to settlement, to avoid cheating yourself of the many talents you were gifted simply because they differ from the aptitudes of those around you, and more importantly, to not let others define the purpose behind your existence in turn dictate the direction you will fly.
And of course, it goes against human nature to live without fear or the ability to feel profoundly, but oftentimes we let those reservations and emotions push us towards losing sight of who we really are and that is the point my mother has tried to make over and over again – to withhold yourself from creating borders and boundaries when it comes to unleashing your inner-self or fulfilling your innate talents. You are better than that boy who walked away, stronger than the girls who called you names, above abusers, bullies, jealousy, and negativity, tougher than the words of those who tell you that you can’t or that you’re not good enough, smarter than any tests you feel intimidated by, qualified for any job, and deserving of all the goodness this world has to offer. Once you unclip the ties and overcome any fears caging your essence, you must spread your natural-born wings and fly.
Below is a poem my mother recently wrote me:
When life becomes a carpet
That carries you away
You’ll meet a lot of angels
They’ll help you find your way
Some of them may stay with you
And others not for long
The years will seem to please you
Just because you’re feeling strong
There may be times where you’re surrounded
by birds that cannot fly
They’ll tie your wings and tell you
It’s a waste of time to try
But you were born an eagle so
Continue on your way
Soar your flying carpet
Do not hesitate to stay
Remember this each day you lay
Your head upon a stone
Your heart is yours to carry
And to bury all alone
Time winks its eye every day it goes by
Wrapping itself in each minute
The world a much better place
Where you are
Simply because
You breathe in it
Laila Sadat
Laila Sadat is a soulful and rambunctious woman with a heart of gold. She is a dreamer, an advocate for humanity, a lover of poetry, and an art enthusiast. Laila’s heart resonates with humanitarian work, traveling, and Mediterranean food! Her goal is to achieve an M.A. in Journalism where through her writing, she hopes to impact the world around her.
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