True or false? “If you want it bad enough, you will do it.”
Many people think the most important factor in achieving dreams or implementing change is the desire or motivation to do it. They assume if someone does not “do it”, they’re guilty of not wanting it bad enough or are unwilling to make the sacrifice. I’ve certainly found myself believing this mentality many times during my journey, but it’s simply not true.
Sometimes the more something matters to us, the less likely we are to make it happen.
If we fail to achieve what we desire because we don’t have the skills, discipline, support, knowledge, and other things necessary, we end up feeling overwhelmed and defeated, and give up altogether.
How many people have you known who would truly like to lose weight but haven’t been able to? As a result, they get depressed and hopeless and quit trying. Sometimes they eat more and begin to self sabotage. Our desire can really depress us if we aren’t able to bring it to fruition.
Desire is important, but it doesn’t enable us to accomplish change. Several ingredients make change, and the sustaining of that change, possible; and many come from outside ourselves.
When we do not have the ingredients, know-how, and support we need, we’re left to our own abilities and the results we’re already getting.
Knowing we should never go back, and being able not to go back are two entirely different things.
Remember the principal you can’t please everybody? You might know this is an important life principle, but when you find yourself in a situation that requires you to stand firm against someone you want to please, you begin to feel anxious and weak in the knees. Knowing this person would be unhappy if you don’t do what he wants you to do – even though you firmly believe what he wants would not be right for you – you give in at the last moment just to keep them happy.
All your best planning and intentions to stand up for yourself fall flat, and you find yourself in a situation you didn’t want, resenting the person you wanted to please, and angry at yourself. Discouragement sets in, and you forget your path of change… back to the old you.
Success can’t be dependent on the situation. Success must be dependent on the person. In every situation, some are successful and some are not.
In any given moment we have two options:
1. Step forward into growth.
2. Step back into safety.
Why are some people successful and others aren’t when faced with the same circumstances and situations?
They’ve made a decision. No one has forced them to think a certain way. They’ve been presented with options and have chosen how they want to proceed.
If you want to make a change but aren’t sure where to begin, try these three power moves to kick-start your success in getting closer to your dreams.
Wake up and come out of denial.
The first step is to change your mind about what you’re doing and turn in a different direction. Turn around and never go back. Decide you want something else more than you want to stay the same.
(By the way, being in denial does not mean you are bad; it means you have not been aware of the truth of something. Now, breathe a sigh of relief, hug yourself, and keep moving forward!)
Be honest with yourself about your actions. The patterns that have kept you stuck and unfruitful, whether in public or in secret, have caused some form of shame and heartache in your life. Admitting this and being accountable for your actions is the second power move in kick-starting your success.
When you become aware of the negative thinking and the old patterns playing in your head and replace them with new voices, you will change.
Expose the patterns that haven’t worked for you. Exposure is to bring something to light and see it for exactly what it is, fruitless. Worthless. Bringing no life or value.
Nothing gets better on its own. Left alone, these patterns will keep you stuck and destroy life. When we realize, and really comprehend, that time is running out, we will wake up, get out of bed, and get where we need to go.
Your dreams are there to be listened to. They don’t want to be told they’re not reachable; they want to be told you’ll find a way.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is leave your comfort zone, but you have to let go of the life you’re familiar with and take a risk to live the life you dream about.
Chrissy Kirkman is a life coach, worship leader, dreamer, mentor, wife, and bonus mom with a passion to help others overcome adversity and achieve their dreams. Creator of the ‘Radically Driven’ group coaching program, Chrissy understands first-hand what it’s like to want to give up. Enduring a divorce, financial hardship, weight loss struggles, depression, anxiety, endometriosis, multiple surgeries, and losing five babies has deepened Chrissy’s faith in God and transformed her into an overcomer!
Chrissy enjoys singing, traveling, and turning dull moments into laughter. She resides in Kansas City, Missouri with her husband, bonus son, and pets.