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Fierce Living

Why is it so hard to go for what we want?

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Part of being a fierce woman and business owner is going after our deep desires. It’s about uncovering what’s calling to us, giving our message a voice and showing up authentically and unapologetically.

We want our work to matter. We want to support our clients, change someone’s perspective, flex our creative muscles and problem solve like a boss.

Yet, sometimes we also find ourselves holding back. Dimming our light just a little. Afraid to stand up and stand out.

If we know what we want, why is it sometimes so hard to ask for it? Why are we afraid of boldly going for our dreams?

I believe that for many of us, deep rooted beliefs are holding us back. Years of social conditioning have taught us to suppress our desires and that it’s selfish to want more than what we’ve been given. We may experience guilt, carry anxiety around being judged or even fear criticism of our success.

Even though our logical mind might totally disagree with these beliefs or fears, it’s possible that somewhere deep inside, they are still causing us to hold back.

So what’s the antidote?

By aligning ourselves fully with our goals and dreams, we can strengthen our conviction towards achieving them. If we can create a vision that is stronger that the beliefs holding us back, then we’ll naturally start moving in that direction. The clearer we can make the vision, the stronger we’ll be pulled towards it.

To uncover the spark that will help you create that clear, powerful vision, try asking yourself these questions:

1. What do you want?

What exactly do you want to achieve? What does your unique vision look like? How will you know when you’ve arrived? How do you think you’ll feel when you’ve achieved your goal?

Write out exactly what you want to create in your life, with as many details as possible. If you’re a more visual person you could use the information to create a vision board. Either way, keep your vision close by so that you can refer to it often.

2. Why do you want it?

What’s important about achieving your goal or vision? What would change if you achieved it? Who might be impacted (positively or negatively) if you pursue your dreams?

Answering these questions will give you clarity around your purpose, as well as shed light on any fears that might be holding you back. Perhaps most importantly, your answers will help you uncover what’s driving you toward your vision.

Strengthening this driving force is critical. Our why has to be stronger than our fears. Our why is what will compel l us to act, help us troubleshoot and problem-solve, and keep us moving forward even in the face of our fears.

Doing work that matters isn’t always easy. But as a heart-centered entrepreneur, you know that not living your dreams isn’t an option, and you’re not going to be the one holding yourself back.

Whenever you find yourself struggling to move forward with your goals or fiercely stand up for your dreams, take a few minutes to reflect back on your answers to the two questions. Remembering why your vision is so important to you in the first place will give you the extra push you need to get out there and shine your light.


Michelle Kirsch, She is Fierce! Contributor

Michelle Kirsch

Michelle Kirsch is a transformational coach & writer who inspires women to reconnect to their intuition, reveal their own inner wisdom and make intentional choices to create a life that feels good.

After a decade working as a marketing professional and instructor, Michelle immersed herself in learning powerful coaching techniques to help her clients create change on the inside first. She brings her own unique blend of personal development, practical tips, and fun into her business. To learn more about intuitive + intentional living, visit MICHELLEKIRSCH.COM.

Connect with Michelle… Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

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