If there is one thing I have never understood it is people who purposely try to make others look bad so they look good. It is a truly an unusual behavior to me. Maybe it was growing up playing team sports, where you rely on everyone to be their best; most importantly you encourage it, because no one will win a game by themselves. Maybe it was the way my parents raised me, to take responsibility for my actions, to be honest about my mistakes, and to help others.
Or, maybe it is the knowledge that groups of people thrive when they work together, not tear each other down. No matter what the reason is, I think most of us would agree that these people can be very toxic. Sadly though, at some point most of us will interact with these types of people and it is important to know how to deal with them, so remember…
- You determine your response to these types of people, so make it a level headed one. No one wants to find out someone is talking bad about them or to stand there while they try to make you look bad in front of others but blowing up will not solve it. I tend to think these types of people are purposely trying to push your buttons and get a heated reaction from you, so don’t let them. You can definitely still show strength and power with a calm conversation explaining to the individual why what they said was inappropriate.
2. These people have a tendency to be repeat offenders. Meaning their behavior will not only be directed at you, usually they have done it to others as well, so don’t worry that people are going to judge you based on what this person says. Don’t feel like you need to go around defending yourself because you can’t be responsible for the actions and words of others. Also, if you do the right things then you have nothing to worry about anyways because people will know what kind of person or employee that you are and won’t listen.
3. Depending on how toxic this person’s behaviors are you are best to communicate with them in ways where there is tangible proof of those behaviors. Have a neutral person come in with you when you discuss with them the things they have said. Send an email to them so that their response is recorded. No matter what DO NOT be alone with this person when you try to talk to them, if they have twisted words once, they will surely try to find any opportunity to do it again.
It is most important that you don’t let these types of people and their behaviors get to you. Believe me I know that is easier said than done, but toxic people need very little consideration in your life. Feeding in to their negativity will only bleed in to your own life and cause unnecessary stress. So deal with them the best way you can, let it go, and then move on with your life the best way you can, in a positive direction.
Rebekah Hibbert is a Certified Athletic Trainer who works on getting athletes ready for their sport and taking care of them after they are hurt. She is passionate about women’s issues and sharing that passion through various social media outlets and is a part-time blogger trying to share my knowledge and experiences while connecting with others.
Connect with Rebekah… www.therealgirlgrind.blogspot.com