Throughout the first half of my life it seemed I could never deliver a timely comeback during arguments, conflict, or crucial conversations. When the moment was over, I would replay the dialogue in my head, crafting elaborate responses to put the other person right in their place. Surprisingly, the “opportunity” for delivery never arrived and I was left feeling weak and inferior, as if I’d lost a battle I should have won. What I didn’t see was the incredible gift of patience and self-control I was blessed with.
As life began challenging me, I had to put more effort into saying the right things at the right time and leaving unsaid the wrong things at the most tempting moments.
There is an art to biting our tongues and each one of us can master it. Bite your tongue and boost your life!
When we lash out with our words, it can cause unnecessary conflict, division, broken spirits, and shattered hearts. Think back to hurtful, cruel things said to you by others in the past. Whether a parent, child, sibling, spouse, friend, teacher, or stranger, are those words still affecting you today? Likewise, who has built you up and encouraged you with their words making a positive, lasting impact on you?
We must be careful with our words; once said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten. Rash words are like daggers to our spirits, but those who use their words wisely bring healing.
It’s always best to be kind and there’s always room to be a better person. Some people are fighting difficult battles we may know nothing about and one kind word could change someone’s entire day. The quieter we become, the more we can hear.
It doesn’t end with helping others; our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind!
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” Mark Twain
There’s a time to remain silent and a time to speak; it’s up to us to find balance between the two. While we shouldn’t allow others to take advantage or walk all over us, we do not need to say everything that enters our minds. There’s a right way to speak the truth in love.
Never mix bad words with a bad mood. We’ll have many opportunities to change a mood, but never the opportunity to replace the words we’ve spoken.
We can’t trust our tongue when our heart is bitter. A bitter heart keeps us stuck and robs us of our joy. What was said in the past can hold us back only if we allow it. It’s time to forgive the people who’ve hurt you with their words, even if they aren’t sorry. Forgive so you don’t have to carry the hurt, bitterness, and anger that blurs your vision.
We don’t have to attend every argument we’re invited to and we don’t need to respond with disrespect to hold our ground. We can show respect even to those who haven’t earned it; not as a reflection of their character, but ours. Rudeness is a weak person’s imitation of strength.
HERE’S WHO IT HELPS
When people are rude to you, they reveal who they are, not who you are. Don’t take it personally. You are not responsible for what others say; you are responsible for how you respond to them. The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. Remember, confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean. A soft answer turns away rage, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Raise your words, not your voice.
Sometimes it’s better to react with no reaction. If you feel someone isn’t ready to hear and receive your thoughts, stay quiet. A foolish woman keeps talking, but a wise woman understands the power of her words as well as her silence. Some days our greatest accomplishment is keeping our mouths shut!
Walk away if you need to. Scribble your feelings on paper and then destroy it. Take several deep breaths. Pray about it. Do whatever you need to ensure your words don’t negatively impact another person.
Show courtesy to everyone every day, whether friends, acquaintances, or strangers. Ask yourself this; “If the words I speak appeared on my skin, would I still be beautiful? If this stands as the last thing I said, is it how I want to be remembered?”
Before you speak: THINK. Is it: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?
Biting your tongue takes practice, but the boost it brings to your life is well worth the effort, not to mention it makes the world a better place. Ready, set, bite!
Influencer Chrissy Kirkman is a life coach, worship leader, dreamer, mentor, wife, and bonus mom with a passion to help others overcome adversity and achieve their dreams. Chrissy understands first-hand what it’s like to want to give up. Enduring a divorce, financial hardship, weight loss struggles, depression, anxiety, endometriosis, multiple surgeries, and losing five babies has deepened Chrissy’s faith in God and transformed her into an overcomer!