May 14, 2015

Self-Doubt: Are You Really Trying?






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I get it, you’re busy, things are stressful and this life is tough, especially for us female entrepreneurs. There’s so much to do, so much expectation, especially that which we place on ourselves when we’re first starting out. But there is a fine line between things being difficult in business, and then us just plain complaining about them or letting the setbacks get us down.

If you’ve experienced overwhelm lately, how many times recently have you thought about giving up? Are you really trying at the moment? Or are you just moaning?

Because whilst a lot of what I write about and help my clients with is based in the importance of self-love, self-care and slowing down in life which I am obviously extremely passionate about, I am also super quick to call them on their bullshit and pull them up when they are being lazy or letting their positive mind-set slip. Because let’s face it, in business, our positive mind-set is sometimes all we have and it’s like a muscle we have to exercise daily.

How do I know the difference between the need for slowing down and laziness? Because I sometimes do it myself! I sometimes catch myself beginning to lean into negativity and low energy because the problem is, it’s actually easier to do that. It’s much easier to throw in the towel when something goes wrong, crack open the chocolate and watch your favorite box-set, than it is to stay positive and keep going.

Here’s the thing. You have two very simple choices for how you can show up in this world and in your business and in life. You can choose to be a victim and tell everyone that nothing is going your way, or you can dust yourself off, keep going and be grateful for all the things that are already working well for you.

So what if a big idea you had didn’t work out? Get over it and try different approach. Do you think Richard Branson crumbled the first time he failed? Erm, no.

So what if you’re tired? (Which by the way I totally get after suffering from chronic fatigue). Listen to that because your body is smart and must be listened to, take a power nap instead of guzzling a coffee (intelligent choices), but then come back fighting.

So what if yesterday totally sucked? Who really cares? I know you don’t care that much and I know you don’t really like yourself when you moan. Instead, know that you did what you could, and tomorrow will be better because you’ll make sure it is.

Ask yourself how long you are holding onto the fact that something didn’t go right for you. How much of your energy are you using to do that holding? And when things are feeling heavy, are you REALLY trying and giving that situation your all? Or are you leaning into laziness and giving up at the first hurdle?

How to know the difference? It’s pretty simple…

…tomorrow is the last day of your life. That’s it. Your time is up. You have no time left to make the most of your time on this earth and create the business and clients you had always been yearning to create. Imagine that for a moment and I mean REALLY imagine that it’s true. No time left to do all the things you wanted to do. NO TIME LEFT to visit all those places you’ve been yearning to visit for ages. No time left to tell that person how much you really love them.

And now knowing that you’re going to leave this life tomorrow, knowing that it’s the end for you, can you REALLY say right now with your hand on your heart that you tried? Can you really say that you gave this life your all and poured your energy and attention into every single moment?

What do you want people to be talking about when you’re no longer here? What legacy do you want to leave behind for people to remember you by? How do you want to be remembered by the people who love you the most?

Because I’m guessing the memory you want to leave behind isn’t one of moaning and whining and saying how crap you feel or that you feel the world is out to get you and your business, am I right? Didn’t think so.

OK so now we know where we are! Let’s check in again.

Are you trying right now? Have you exhausted every single possible option? Have you flipped all the things that didn’t work out on their head?

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from running my own business it’s that we CANNOT give up no matter what. There is ALWAYS a plan B and there are always several ways to look at a situation. This is what I tell my private clients EVERY time they tell me they’ve tried and it didn’t work. There is always another way, and we ALWAYS find that way together.

“The world acknowledges talent, recognizes genius, pays off in money, only after one has refused to quit.” Napoleon Hill

If you’re thinking of throwing in that towel or you’re having a bad day, I’m inviting you to challenge the status quo in your business. I’m inviting you to think outside the box. I’m inviting you to explore the world outside of the matrix you are currently living in that you have been telling yourself is ‘you’re only option’ or is ‘what you have to settle for’.

Refuse to quit. Because my darling, that stuff in your head, that self-doubt, it’s BULLS**T. And even worse? It’s your own bulls**t! But when we realize that the tapes we play internally about how things aren’t working out for us are simply just our own thoughts and our minds working overtime, isn’t it empowering to know we are able to change them?

The only obstacle standing in between what you’re trying to create and where you are now is YOU. That’s it. All you need to do is move out of your own way. Because the truth is, although my words above might seem dramatic when I talk about coming to the end of our lives, there’s no denying the fact that our time here IS limited, we do only get ONE shot at creating a life for ourselves, so keep that question in your mind the next time you can feel yourself settling or giving up, and remind yourself that unless you keep going and taking action in your business and in your life and making changes, nothing is going to change for you.

Ask yourself right now, AM I REALLY TRYING?



Natalie Edwards, She Is Fierce! Contributor

Natalie Edwards, The Freedom Expert, is a Personal Development Coach specializing in helping women in their 30’s create and live a life of freedom. Previously an Art Director in the Graphic Design, Online Retail and Fashion arenas, she is also a certified Forrest Yoga and iRest teacher with over 700 hours of training and experience in yoga, bodywork & meditation, and has worked with some of the world’s leading business and transformation coaches. Credentials aside, Natalie only helps what she knows in her bones she can help other women with by teaching from a truthful, heartfelt place, and from her own life experience.

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