I am Having an Affair… With My Business!






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I'm Having an Affair... With My Business!

I am having a love affair.

You know the signs.

The late night phone checking, the sneaky sneak away to the computer, the ‘just one more’ chat, the heart skipping a beat when you see their name…It is official I have been caught red handed having a love affair with my business.

I am like a gropey teenager. All over my new gorgeous hot biz. I mean I get giddy when I know we are going to see each other, I often turn up early just to surprise her… buy her some new stationary and tell her she is the most beautiful thing in my life!

I am in love with how she makes me feel, it makes me all woozy and when I am not with her… I miss her, I think about her, I want to text, message, and brainstorm and hold hands…I want to go all the way!!

Aahahahahah totally crazy analogy right!

But I am also seeing how completely out of wack I am being in the rest of my life. Ditching my friends, my family for any sneaky passionate moment with my biz… You lil’ saucy devil!

It wasn’t until I did a meditation to find out where some of my challenges were in business, so that I can move forward. That my beloved spoke to me.

She said; “Nat… You are smothering me, you have me on a pedestal, you want too much from me too often. You are meant to be building a lifestyle business, a business to give you the balance you crave. I think we need to start seeing other people!”

“What the F***!”

“But I love you!” I scream.

I so didn’t expect that. But she is right. I was falling into a strange haze of business love.

Realising that I am so in infatuated with this amazing creature, I can see how biased I was becoming. And if I am not careful I will just say ‘yes’ to everything she says, and not reflect.

She has enough power over me that if she said jump I would say “How high baby!!”

While this love affair on some levels is healthy and is catapulting my career.

I have come off track from how I want my business to be built, it is creating a bit of helicopter brain, one-sided thoughts. Plus I am showing signs of that annoying person who is so obsessed with her business that she color coordinates even her children to her brand.

So what do you do when you have jumped on board the love train?

What actions can I do to wean myself off being so full on? Without changing who I fundamentally am of course! Because I am naturally passionate!

Reassess the boundaries:

Boundaries around how long you spend with clients, how much value you jam pack into a session when it may just be overwhelming your poor client. (Bloody love haze, making you all Cray Cray! & possibly… No wait definitely a tad over the top.)

Begin with the end in mind:

Do you really have this amount of time and energy to throw at your business for the next 10, 20 years? Just like a marriage you get familiar (whole new subject) but you find and sit in your strengths, catch up & brainstorm once a day. Well let’s face it you fall into step with each other a more beautiful and magical dance will happen.

The simple life:

Embrace a new hobby, read a book (not business!).  For me, it’s about consciously having down time and just BEING with my kids. Kids are experts at chilling out and playing.

I would love to hear what you do to find balance when you fall in love with something so fiercely?

Are you an all or nothing girl?



Natalie Tolhopf, She Is Fierce! Contributor

Natalie Tolhopf knows what it’s like to try and fit in where you don’t see how it could work. Working as a chef in male-dominated, hot, and pressurized kitchens, she kept focused on her passion and learned from the best in the UK and Europe.

She took these skills into the development of a new café in New Zealand which made her see how important business planning and systems were. There, she discovered a rewarding love of teaching others how to be their best and realized her own worth and that it is okay to highly value yourself, your skills and experience.

From working in small business, she moved into a hospitality and tourism school tutoring young people in the importance of their own efforts and attitudes in even a large organization. Despite having a two-year-old and another baby on the way, Natalie was given the opportunity to run the business where she was in her flow, pushing the limits.

Knowing some time before that she would take the leap into launching her own business, she waited until the time was right and then … went for it!Natalie stopped playing small. She stopped hiding, stepped up, built upon her own journey,  and started to inspire and uplift women to showcase themselves to catapult their career.

Meet Natalie here… http://www.catapultyourcareer.co.nz




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