December 18, 2015

Why Saying Sorry Is Holding You Back

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 Why Saying Sorry Is Holding You Back
I was recently asked by Avon’s Beauty for a Purpose to contribute to an article they were putting together all about the psychology of the word “sorry.”

As soon as I started reading the email I was nodding my head along.  By the third line, I had already gone on a little rant in my head about why we as women apologize SO MUCH… and then I started giving myself a little guilt trip for doing it so often myself.  Clearly, this topic is a trigger for me!

The struggle to stop using the word “sorry” in situations that require either a simple “excuse me,” or where the other person is clearly at fault, is one that I have yet to overcome.

Even as a woman who runs a global website and business focused on giving women the tools to live their lives boldly, I find that apologizing is so deeply ingrained in me as a woman that I actually have to intentionally try not to apologize when someone else elbows me, talks over me, or treats me with disrespect!

Women are taught from a young age that we should be smart, strong, successful… yet still feminine, soft, humble and accommodating.  We are taught to qualify every statement with “sorry,” to make our beliefs and arguments more palatable.

“Sorry” can be a very powerful and meaningful word, and it should be used sparingly – when we are truly in the wrong.  Using it in every sentence takes away our power as women to say what we believe with conviction; it limits our ability to follow up our statements with strength.

We limit ourselves and our potential when we use “sorry” by inviting the other person to look down on us and assume we don’t have strength of conviction.

Women have such incredibly fierce power and strength.  We have to stop apologizing for taking up space, having opinions, and believing in ourselves!

I encourage you to join me in my own personal challenge.  It’s a tough one.  I am not going to say the word “sorry” all day for ONE DAY.  I am truly not sure I will be able to do it, not because I’m constantly being rude to people, but because it is such a default word.

Let’s try together!  I’ll let you know how my day goes in the comments section below.  Share your experience there too… and pass along the challenge to the other women in your life!


Kelly Youngs, She Is Fierce! Founder

 Hi!  I’m Kelly, the Founder of She Is Fierce!  I am so proud to lead this amazing community of seriously Fierce Women!

Want to get to know me better?  Read this recent interview by The Self-Love Formula!

Or, if you’re looking for help building YOUR brand, find info here… Meet The Founder or here… www.kellyyoungs.com or on Twitter and LinkedIn

The comments +

  1. She Is Fierce! says:

    OK, so I was absolutely terrible! I think the first thing I did after writing this article was apologize for taking up too much space in a coffee shop line. I couldn’t believe it as I heard the words come out of mouth! I have recommitted and am spending the rest of the month trying to STOP APOLOGIZING!

    Let me know how you’re doing! I’d love to hear from someone who has re-shaped their language to get rid of the overuse of “I’m sorry”!!

    – Kelly 🙂

  2. Amy Carney says:

    Love this and am sharing with friends! I am always trying to teach my kids exactly this and to not throw out ‘I’m sorry’ as a default. Like you said “Sorry” should be reserved for those moments when you really do owe someone a true apology. I really try to be aware of this myself!

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