There is this thing that happens when you become a strong and driven woman, your tolerance for mediocrity goes down.
Not because you think you’re better than anyone but because goal-less people and wasted potential frustrates you.
This definitely is true in your romantic life. If you are working hard you want a partner who is working just as hard.
Here is the catch 22 when you have two people working full time jobs, trying to launch separate businesses or build a brand it can seem nearly impossible to make real time for each other, especially during the first few months, if you don’t live together or have opposite schedules…
Here are a few tips to help you find balance in your busy schedule for love:
Remember the quality time is more important than the quantity of time. So be present.
Remember to show your partner the same attention you show to business associate.. If you turn your phone off during meetings or only answer/take phone calls when they leave the room then give your significant other the same attention and respect. Have a rule that (barring any real emergency) date nights are no phone zones. When you don’t get a lot of time together it’s important to be fully invested when you do.
A major pitfall for busy couples is getting stuck in a rut. When they finally have time to spend together they are too tired to do anything but go to dinner and then Netflix. It’s important to try new things together and keep the excitement alive. You both are learning and working constantly so it’s important you learn and grow together. Check out local night classes you both might benefit from to take together. Don’t let your time together be idle all the time because obviously you aren’t “do nothing people.” The occasional Netflix night after a long week is fine but always look for new experiences.
Learn how to compromise.
It’s the first night neither of you has a deadline in weeks and it’s his best friend’s birthday party. You could pout and ruin the time you have together, sitting in the corner and rolling your eyes the whole night but then you wouldn’t be the fierce woman he fell for. Suggest that you do your date night and go out for his friend’s birthday. Go have dinner and then meet his friends, tip out early so you can have some private time. If both of you are too busy to spend time with each other chances are your friends aren’t getting a lot of face time with either of you. Remember his buddy’s birthday today could be your girlfriends play opening next month.
It’s not just the phone that can cause date-night static… if you have a big project or idea on your mind talk about it! I know it may seem counterproductive but your partner will be able to tell if your mind is a million miles away. Don’t let it monopolize the evening but make it into a conversation. Are you stuck coming up with a name for a new product? Ask your partner what they think about some of your ideas? Do they have any? You might not actually solve the problem during your date but you will get a chance to bond with your partner more. Sharing with them makes them feel closer to you. Asking their opinion makes them feel appreciated. Even if you just spend the evening making up silly solutions to the problems it will ease some of your tension. When you share with your partner and they are receptive and you feel cared about, supported and more connected.
Be careful who you vent to.
No matter how hard you both try there will be times where one or both of you feels disappointed or lonely. It’s perfectly normal to get frustrated from time to time in any relationship and when you can’t talk to your partner it’s nice to vent to a friend but be careful who you vent to. Everyone’s relationships, deal breakers, expectations and desires are different. You may be fine seeing your honey twice a week but your friend may think that’s ridiculous. 2 things seem to always happen when you share your business with the wrong person:
- They get in your head and make you doubt yourself/your relationship.
- They develop permanent negative feelings based on your temporary frustration.
Talk to someone you know will listen and support not preach and judge or better yet talk to your partner about any frustrations or insecurities.
Support Support Support.
If your partner is trying to get a new position, start a business, whatever the goal may be, they probably have enough of their own doubt they don’t need yours as well. Don’t patronize them but encourage them. Remind them how proud you are of them. Tell them how much you admire their work ethic and how it inspires you in your own endeavors. Offer help when you can. Are you a strong writer? Let them know you are here if they need a proofreader or a second pair of eyes. Remember you’re a team, their success if your success.
Don’t neglect the little things.
You may be too busy to go on a romantic getaway but let them know that you are thinking about them. If you aren’t into mushy text messages just randomly share funny pictures or send a meme that reminds you of an inside joke. Email articles that might encourage them or add some positive energy to their day. Just taking a moment to let someone know you’re thinking about them can help maintain intimacy.
Focus on the positive.
A big mistake couples make is spending the time they do have together talking about the time they don’t have together instead of just enjoying it. Yes, it sucks you don’t see each other all the time. You both know that but don’t dwell on it. Embrace the positive you’ve got yourself a go getter who isn’t intimidated by the fact that you’re quite the go getter yourself. If you are planning a future together this hard work now might mean less work later and even if you are the couple that forever stays busy at least you will know how to deal with it.
The takeaway? Try! If you really want to be with them then be with them. Give them all the things you want; quality, growth, compromise, sharing, support, positivity… so love.
Dia is a Marketing and Event Coordinator and lifestyle blogger.
She received her bachelor degree in Communication with a concentration in Public Relations from the University of Texas at San Antonio. Working since age 15, she has worked in a number of industries including Retail, Insurance, Real Estate, Social Media Management, Event Planning, Blogging, Site Management and Marketing. Born and raised in Texas but a lover of travel. Her interests include karaoke, painting and cheering for the San Antonio Spurs.
She started her lifestyle blog All the Things I Do in early 2015 to inspire and connect with other millennial women looking to make the most of life.
Connect with Dia… www.allthethingsido.com