The Biggest Misconception About (un)Successful Women
We are powerful.
We are CEOs and investors.
We are mothers, daughters and wives.
We are breadwinners.
And best friends.
We are bitches and bosses, and all in between.
We’ve seen the top. We are the top.
But… are we enough to the patriarchy or, maybe, just a little too much?
Are we even… here?
When Simone de Beauvoir uttered one among many of her famous lines, quoting “One is not born a woman, but becomes one”, she probably didn’t have the current gender dynamics envisioned. We’ll assume she’d be extremely proud of all that we’ve achieved but at the same time saddened by the prejudice we are still actively facing (maybe now even more so than ever). We are bleeding injustice with every inch of our beings but we’ve grown skillful in hiding the scars. After all, isn’t that what we’ve been doing for the most part, all this time? Hiding the fact we’re still flesh and blood so that the clever patriarchy doesn’t get the idea to eat us alive? Yes, yes we have. And yet, you are scared. You are scared – we’ll be the first ones to eat YOU alive. And, you are probably right – we’ve already taken the first bite.
Nah, just kiddin’.
Raw Emotion And Thought
“For mad I may be, but I will never be convenient.”
― Jennifer Donnelly, Revolution
It’s a contradiction, really – this whole gender thing. What we are currently living isn’t feminism in its absolute… it’s an active oppression of female role in the male-run society.
The core of every healthy feminist approach isn’t to be better than the man, fear the man or prove the man wrong. It certainly isn’t to exhaust yourself to a point you’ll be your own demise just to prove yourself worthy to a society that doesn’t – and may never – see you as worthy. The core concept of feminism is equality. Equality in emotion, thought and opportunity. Equality in living and breathing, and fighting the same battles as men, the battles that bless you with a certain social standing, a chance at life you dream of and love you hope to find. It isn’t necessarily about women chopping woods or men wearing eyeliners, either. It’s about the possibility and the opportunity to choose. To choose life, in all its beauty. To live freely and speak – unprejudiced or judged. To be respected for your thoughts, not your genitals. To be a person, not a weak gender link. Understand this: we never aimed to beat you at anything. What’ve always wanted was to just play alongside with you.
A Woman Is A Woman Is A Woman
“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, “She doesn’t have what it takes.” They will say, “Women don’t have what it takes.”
– Clare Boothe Lucе
The trick with feminism these days is that the (subliminal) message has already been launched into the microcosm and there’s no turning back. The message reads: WE CAN DO IT ALL ALONE. The truth is, we can and we cannot. And, when we can – why would we? Why is it upon a woman to take on a role of both her gender and the (supposedly) “stronger” gender, and exhaust herself to illness in the process? If we’ve grown as powerful as we have, don’t we deserve the same treatment as the opposite sex? We should, but we don’t. We have taken upon us to be everything a “typical woman is” and upgraded it to everything a “typical man is”. Combine the two and you are getting a woman who is making you millions but still keeps the household together.
To a woman or man, facing such huge burden and responsibilities every single day isn’t a normal state of things – and it shouldn’t be. It is in human nature to get tired but then decompress in order to avoid mental and emotional exhaustion and cracking. Aren’t you tired? Because we are. Tired of chasing pavements and proving ourselves worthy. Tired of having to be (too) capable – and still be judged for it. We are tired of having to invest double the effort to get that “man’s job” when you know we’re a better fit for it. If we’re (too) strong, we’re cold. If we’re (too) weak, we’re despicable… or, well, women. But, don’t you think it’s time that changed? Isn’t it time this gender charade stopped and we all realized we are on the same side? Life is to be shared, so – let’s share it. I ask the recognized psychologists in Sydney for a professional opinion, and they’ll tell you the same thing we will: the strongest of people are those seeking for help. Here we are, reaching out – to you – in hope to stop framing us into a prejudice but love us for the strength we carry within.
The Weak Link
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
– Katharine Hepburn
With the current state of things, everyone’s confused. Men have gotten absolutely mortified as to what their roles have now come to and women have been killing themselves trying to explain the overall foolhardiness of gender-role division in the first place.
Men are no longer sole providers or husbands whose income conditions their partner’s lives. They are no longer needed to change the bulb, fix the boiler or bring food to the table. Women can do all that, alone. Or – when they can’t or won’t – they’ll pay for it to be done. In a technical sense of a word, it’s become evident that men have grown obsolete. This, along with plenty of other facts, brought about a very unsettling climate – not only in terms of gender roles but relationships altogether. We get it: you don’t know where you stand, so you attack. But, listen to this: while we no longer need you to change the bulb, we do need you to love us, give us families and share our happiness – just as much as you need us to do the same for you.
The Equal Infinity
Here’s an idea: instead of judging us, support us. Embrace our strength and turn it into your advantage. Don’t be scared we’ll love you less if we earn more, because we won’t. We’ll love and appreciate you for having chosen a strong woman over your (strong) ego. Work with us, not against us. We’re not your enemies; we’re your partners (in crime), your support when you fail, and your home to come to at the end of a (hard) day. We are the people that jump in to replace you when you need some time off. We, as strong as we are, are the reason you can sleep rested at night, knowing your home will never be without an income. Growing this strong we’ve made your lives easier, don’t you get it? You can finally just… be, be liberated of the expectations the society has burdened YOU with, too. So, let just be for a second, together and united. We are on the same side. We are one.
Isabel F. William Body&Mind Balance Consultant. Lover of literature and philosophy, runner, and Tai Chi master. She believes that sometimes it is just enough to enjoy a really good book, smooth jazz and a cup of coffee to travel somewhere else. Web: www.ripped.me E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/Isabel_FWilliam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/isabel.william.98 Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/isabelfwilliam/