This past month has been kinda hard at our house.  Between lack of sleep due to a teething baby and what seems to be a never ending power struggle with my 4 year old, I have been less than stellar.  And I have reverted to my “angry mom voice” more  often than not.  It hasn’t been pretty.  But once I stepped back, took some deep breaths and consulted with God, things started improving.  Slow and steady.

These are the valuable lessons my daughter has taught me:

There is a fine line between talking to and talking at; I was doing the second.  It isn’t respectful and it turns off the listener in 2 seconds flat.  Engaging her in my conversations and valuing her input works better.

I’m not a bad mom.  I’m the mom she was made specifically for.  And vice versa.  We were hand-crafted for each other.  We may know how to push each other’s buttons, good or bad, but that is exactly as it should be.  God knows what he is doing and I have to trust that I’m good enough to carry out my motherly duty because He has already entrusted me.

Being on the same page with my husband about how to handle tantrums and misbehavior is paramount.  We tell her the consequences to her actions and they are always the same (a 4 minute time out.)  Knowing what the outcome will be for misbehaving has tempered the severity of her outbursts.

Our teaching style/ learning style needs tweaking.  She needs to move around and be active, she is essentially a kinesthetic learner.  I am not that way and there lies the disconnect.  So, not so much sit down activities, incorporate more movement games and outdoor time.

Trying to control her is not healthy.  Guiding and counseling are.  Modeling the proper behavior is beneficial.  Yelling and being annoyed is not.  I am choosing the happier path.

These small tweaks coupled with a huge heart change has really eased my tension.  Kinsey woke up the other morning and said, “Listen to your mama”  with the biggest smile on her face.  We are making progress.  Slow and Steady.

Whitney Smith

Whitney is the blogger behind Work it Mommy; a lifestyle blog focused on family, being a Girl Mom, toddler fashion, preschool activities and anything else that tickles her fancy.  She resides on the Central Coast of California with her husband of seven years, Brian.  They are raising two fierce daughters aged 4 years and 16 months and have a fur baby, a Cocker Spaniel- Dachshund mix named Stella.