People are unique, so it makes sense that when two people come together in a romantic relationship, the bond is as distinct as the individuals who form it. Don’t bother comparing your relationship to someone else’s. It’s a big waste of time and energy. Instead examine the reasons you should be confident in your own unique partnership that only you and your partner can create:
The pair of you are comfortable enough to communicate on all kinds of topics. This means there are no off-limits subjects and honesty is threaded through each. It can be big, heavy issues like family dynamics, belief systems or lighter ones like what you feel like for dinner. The point is the partners can share where they are at and what they need.
Not everyone is really chatty or talkative, that’s okay. What matters is that the couple understand one another and they each feel heard.
Maybe one of the people in a relationship takes a while to formulate their thoughts — this is perfectly normal. What’s vital is that the partners are patient with their loved one and will give them the time they need.
2.) Maintaining Space
Some couples may want to spend every waking (and sleeping) hour together. Some couples may like to be able to maintain their own commitments, outside of the pairing. And some couples find themselves somewhere in-between those to ends of the spectrum.
Wherever you are, it’s important to not lose yourself in a relationship, making you abandon friendships and other commitments. But how each couple navigates the amount and kind of time they spend together is distinct to them.
A shared friend group may be part of the deal, while other couples may have varying friends. Some couples may enjoy playing on a sports team together or going rock climbing as a couple or playing video games side-by-side. Whatever the case, the space and time they share should build up the individuals in the relationship, which can also lead to a strengthening of the connection between them. Just because a couple doesn’t spend every minute together, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be confident in their relationship.
Spending time apart allows the couple to cultivate themselves. It empowers and encourages personal growth.
3.) Signaling your Relationship
How a couple signals to the world they are together can vary greatly. Some people will update their relationship status on Facebook, while others don’t. Some people wear promise rings to show they are in a committed relationship.
It’s important that the couple is in tune with how one another wants to tell their friends, family and the world at large, that they care for one another.
Although these signals may differ, if one of the people wants to keep the relationship a secret — it may be cause to evaluate if they are emotionally in the same place and if it’s healthy to continue.
4.) Showing Affection
There are five different love languages. It is imperative that the partners are able to articulate their love and affection for the other person in a way that one another can understand and perceive. These languages are through touch, words, time, service or gifts.
Touch is physically finding appropriate opportunities to reach out to the other person to hold hands, put a hand on their shoulder or give a hug. It isn’t about grand gestures or what other people witness — it is about connecting tangibly.
Words include verbal praise and adoration. It isn’t just about saying, “I love you”, although that is nice to hear. It’s about acknowledging one another.
Time as a language of love is about how you allot your time. Can the partners turn off the TV, put down their phones and give their complete time and attention to solely the other person.
Service is connected to time as it is about taking time to show their love. For people who understand love through service, experience actions speak louder than words. It can involve little considerate acts with the other person in mind. This can include the preparing of a meal, doing the dishes or taking out the trash, giving a massage. These are indications of devotion to your life together and expressions of love.
Gifts are tokens of affection. Not necessarily costly or elaborate. The gifts show that the partners think of each other while they’re apart and they’re aware of what they need and/or would enjoy.
5.) Respectfully Disagree
Not having an argument isn’t possible, even with a person you cherish and love. So if anyone tells you, if you fight you shouldn’t be confident in your relationship — they’re wrong!
Every relationship has conflicts. What is important to take note of is how you disagree. Is it with respect and kindness? Is there compassion present amongst the differing opinions? What’s key is when you fight, you fight fair. If one or both of you are needlessly mean or malicious, it might be cause for concern.
No two relationships are alike. Within each couple are two unique individuals who have come together to create something one-of-a-kind. Don’t compare your relationship to someone else’s, instead examine how your relationship works — this will help you to gain confidence in it or help you to end it so you find one that does.
Kacey Mya Bradley is a lifestyle blogger for “The Drifter Collective.” Throughout her life, she has found excitement in the world around her. Kacey graduated with a degree in Communications while working for a lifestyle magazine. She has been able to fully embrace herself with the knowledge of nature, the power of exploring other locations, cultures, and styles, while communicating these endeavors through her passion for writing and expression. Her love for the world around her is portrayed through her visually pleasing, culturally embracing and inspiring posts.
The Drifter Collective: An eclectic lifestyle blog that expresses various forms of style through the influence of culture and the world around us.