Intellectual Intimacy Improves Romantic Communication
Intellectual intimacy is sharing whatever you are thinking and your skills. Intellectual intimacy can be your hopes, dreams, fears, and experiences. When your partner shares who they are inside and connect intellectually with you, they are trusting you with their secrets. They have removed the shield that guards their hearts.
Many people can have a romantic relationship that includes sex without being intellectually venerable as in a one night stand or causal relationship. A great example of intellectual intimate relationships are couples that share the same hobby, occupation, passion or addition: fishing, bondsman, cooking or controlled substance additions. Therefore, a successful relationship includes a degree of intellectual (good or bad) intimacy. It is through intellectual intimacy a couple becomes friends and bond outside of a physical or sexual connection.
Below are five attributes that increase intellectual intimacy:
Attitude. There is an old saying that “attitude determines aptitude”. People usually are attracted to and bond with others who have the same attitude as they do. If you have a positive attitude or desire one, then you will be attracted to someone who has a positive attitude. If you are a negative person, you will be attracted to people with negative attitudes.
Harry, age 25, tells what attracted him to his wife, Jan age 22, of two years, “I was having a bad day because of a difficult customer and an employee called in sick. Jan ran into me accidently in the store and almost knocked me down. I almost got angry but she looked up apologetic and gave me the most beautiful smile ever. I knew I wanted to get to know her. She has a beautiful attitude to go with that smile and because of her attitude we never have a problem communicating.”
Interesting. You find each other interesting and intellectual stimulating. Do you have a degree in the same field? Do you share a hobby? Every love song started with a story. Every business started with an idea. There is always an interest that start every romantic relationship. Sue age 43 met her husband, Cory age 47, at a trade conference event in New York for Children authors and publishers. Since that time seven years ago, they have self-published a few children books that sold mostly to friends and family but they love doing it. Sue said, “Cory and I love to write and see our finished product. We love traveling and meeting other authors who do the same thing. Next year we are planning to go to the Children’s Bologna Festival out of the country.”
Fun. People connect with others whom they enjoy talking with and spending time with. One person’s idea of fun may not be another’s but in order to enjoy each other’s company, there is some activity that the both of you enjoy. People bond over finding someone to have fun and hang out with because there is so much negativity in the world.
Kent age 33 an auto mechanic said, I enjoy spending time with Pamela age 35 a beautician because she is carefree and spontaneous. I can suggest dinner on the fly or a movie and she will make time to spend with me. She is a lot of fun. We don’t talk about other people or problems we enjoy each other’s company and that is refreshing.
Supportive – Maybe the two of you work on a stressful job and share experiences that others would not understand?According to a Priceonomics and US Census statistical report, agriculture workers, teachers, doctors, police officers, truck drivers, military personnel, and lawyers have a high degree of marriages among their occupations.
Dan a police officer age 31 married his police partner, Cherry age 29. Dan said, I married Cherry because as my partner in the squad, she understood the job and she “gets” me. Since we’ve gotten married, she has resigned because we are expecting our first child.”
Loyalty and values – Some couples bond over loyalty and moral values. For example, missionaries marry each other as they often find themselves in countries they are not familiar with but they are serving the same causes. Some couples will not date or marry outside of their religion or culture. No one wants to bond intellectually with someone they think they cannot trust. Therefore, loyalty is on everyone’s list.
Jake age 55 owns a popular bar and grill restaurant. He married one of his waitresses, Delta 53. Jake said, Delta worked for me for over 20 years. She knew my deceased wife and my family. I know her divorced husband and her kids. Delta knows the ups and downs of my business and we are both transplants from Ireland. We are of the same faith and culture. I trust her with my life and know from experience I can confide in her and she won’t embarrass me by repeating what I say. So I married her.”
In conclusion, Intellectual intimacy supports friendships and relationships in addition to a sexual relationship but an intellectual intimate connection can maintain a relationship on its own merit. Most intellectual intimate attributes that cause better communication in a romantic relationship are many: fun, attitude, interesting, supportive, loyalty and core values among a few.
Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
7 Problems We Can Tackle With Mindfulness Training
We live in an era when distractions are everywhere. We’re encouraged to pack our schedules, we’re told we should be distracted 24/7, and we’re made to believe that we’re not ambitious enough if our plates aren’t overloaded. Is it any coincidence that we’re also living in a time when stress-related diseases and conditions are running rampant from obesity to high blood pressure? Practicing mindfulness, whether it’s meditation, forest bathing, asana or another method, is critical for holistic well-being. Mindfulness can help with a variety of issues, but here are seven top reasons why being mindful should be a priority:
- Increase our intuition abilities. Intuition means being aware, observing, and active listening. It sounds simple, but it’s a skill that many of us don’t come close to realizing because of our lack of mindfulness. With better intuition, we can increase our compassion, empathy, and improve all of our relationships. A better romantic partnership, better relationship with co-workers, and more harmonious relationship with all of humanity is certainly a reason to be mindful
- Help with holistic addiction treatment. Addiction levels are at an all-time high from technology addiction to the opioid epidemic in the U.S. Mindfulness training has been a proven method for optimizing comprehensive addiction treatment, particularly for long-term success.
- Eating disorder treatment. Eating disorders include a wide range of issues such as Binge Eating Disorder (BED), Night Eating Syndrome (NES) along with the more well-known anorexia and bulimia. Orthorexia, or an obsession with healthy eating, is expected to become an official eating disorder soon. Eating disorders are the deadliest and most under-diagnosed of mental disorders, and mindfulness training can be a vital part of management.
- Struggles with priorities and shorter attention spans. In western countries, we’re expected to wear a number of hats on the job. Simultaneously, the human attention span is shorter than ever (shorter than a goldfish’s, in fact). Mindfulness can help us learn to triage, prioritize, and increase our attention spans. It goes hand in hand with decreasing our dependence on technology.
- Mood swing and Problems We Can Tackle With Mindfulness Training and road rage. The inability to control our emotions is exacerbated by the fact that few of us practice mindfulness on a regular basis. If you find yourself getting quickly angered when someone cut in front of you at the coffee shop or stewing for days over a slight the other person may not have realized at all, mindfulness can help you learn to let go.
- Re-condition negative self-talk. How we talk to ourselves plays a big role in our self-esteem, self-value, and overall health. Our culture reveres sarcasm and self-deprecation. However, if you don’t speak kindly to yourself and encourage yourself, who else will? Mindfulness can help us with “cognitive reconditioning” and undo years of negative self-talk.
- Anxiety. We’re being diagnosed with anxiety and related disorders at an astounding degree. Sometimes anxiety can be crippling and overlap with conditions such as agoraphobia while virtually halts a healthy life. Anxiety and mindfulness go hand in hand. If you struggle with anxiety, or simply feel anxious and worried more often than you’d like, then you might find that reconnecting with a mindful way of life can be soothing.
These are just a few of the problems many of us face on a regular basis, but mindfulness can be a balm for nearly every issue. There are many ways to incorporate mindfulness into your life—many are free, relatively easy, and accessible. You may need to try a few approaches to find the best fit for you. Don’t give up if the first few attempts don’t resonate with you.
Emily is an experienced content writer. She graduated from The University of Texas at Austin with a Bachelor of Communication in Journalism. She has written about an array of topics, from business, health, and technology to travel, culinary, education and even fashion & lifestyle. In her free time, Emily enjoys traveling, training for half marathons, and cooking for her family.
4 Less Known Ways How Gratitude Will Change Your Life
Changing your life may be quite a challenge, but the most important step you can make is to try and change the way you perceive the world around you. This modern era has brought us various issues, and it may be hard to focus on feeling thankful while there’s so much more you need to achieve. This may sound a bit corny, but quite a lot of studies have shown a clear link between feeling happy and being grateful.
We’ve done some researching and we’ve made this list in order to help you gain a better understanding of how and why the attitude of gratitude affects your lifestyle. There are various positive effects of this attitude, so let’s not waste any more time and let’s get straight to it.
Try not to get mad, but express gratitude instead
One of the main reasons anyone wants to change is because of the social interactions. When faced with an issue in a social surrounding, like for example your work, it can be very hard to keep your cool. Let’s say your coworker failed at their task. This leaves you with more work, and you’re probably going to get mad. If you manage to change the way you express yourself, you can achieve quite a lot.
In such situations try to calm down, focus on all the positive things you can about the coworker that failed. Think about everything good they might have done in the past, however difficult it may seem. Try to show your gratitude for all the positive things that person did, and it will affect your mood in a most positive way. It may take time to master this skill, but once you do you will improve both the way you perceive the world and how people around you feel about you. You will be able to form stronger relationships and you will gain people’s trust in an easy fashion.
Be grateful for life’s challenges
Facing any major change in life is a lengthy process, and it can be hard to truly understand the approach when your emotions are getting the best of you in such situations. What you must understand is that self-pity can’t get you anywhere. Facing a challenge in life should be another experience that makes you become the best version of yourself, so stop frowning and start being grateful.
Any challenge you may face, whether it’s a move to another city, country, or, in the worst case scenario, the death of someone close to you, can help you build your personality and learn a lot. Try to be grateful for everything that you’ve picked up along the way and you will soon become a person that complains way less. It can help you improve your career and become more popular, and it’s all up to you.
Become an inspiration
Various studies have shown that people tend to build better relationships and motivate one another when they express gratitude and when they show they’re humble. Being perceived as humble and grateful helps people around you elevate their productivity and overall relationships in the team, so focusing on building such character can help you out in the long run. The studies have also shown that even a single expression of gratitude helped increase the overall average time spent helping each other.
Learn how to bounce back with gratitude
Even when it comes to the hardest of times, expressing gratitude can seriously help your overall state of being and the way you deal with your problems. We are all social beings, and we all need at least some of the social interaction, especially in times of need. Being grateful for that interaction and showing that gratitude can help you with your coping mechanisms.
Experienced family lawyers state that the divorce parties that express grateful thinking and positive attitude don’t have many problems with coping and dealing with the aftermath of such a devastating event. With humble and grateful view of the world, you can deal with all of your problems easier than before.
You can get caught up in negative feelings quite easily, and once you do, it’s very easy to forget about the positivity and good people in your life. And while you may think there is a lot of room for improvement when it comes to your personality, there is certainly quite a lot you should be thankful for. Gratitude is a skill that needs practice, and you mustn’t be afraid to practice showing it. It will help you live a more fulfilling and overall positive life, so go for it.
Leila Dorari is a freelance writer and self-improvement enthusiast from Sydney. Currently, she is spreading the word on useful tips and tricks that can skyrocket one’s career odds. In her spare time, she is either window shopping or exploring new ways to make her life more meaningful.