7 Benefits Of Being Single
More and more people are embracing the single lifestyle. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), more than half of the U.S. population over 16 years of age were single in 2014, compared to just 37.4 percent in 1976. So, why are relationships fading in favor of the single lifestyle?
Eating Out is Cheaper
Eating out when you’re in a relationship is downright expensive. Even at mid-grade restaurants, you can easily spend $40 on dinner for two. When you’re single, though, you’ll pay just half this amount. You can then take this money and save it for a vacation, new clothes or anything else you want to buy.
Holidays Are Less Stressful
You can also relax just a little more during the holidays when you are single. You won’t have to visit your partner’s family or buy them gifts, reducing the chaos associated with this time of year. From Thanksgiving to the New Year, the holidays are less stressful when you’re single.
You Can Watch What You Want
If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you’re probably familiar with television battles. You want to watch “Game of Thrones,” but your partner wants to watch the local news. With only a single television in the living room, you are forced to throw in the towel and turn on the news. This isn’t an issue when you’re single, however. You’ll have complete control over the television remote at all times. If you want to watch a movie or show, you can flip the channel without worrying about upsetting your partner. You can also watch adult content on websites like Nu Bay without having to worry about making your partner insecure.
You might be surprised to learn that being single is good for your health. According to research cited by Huffington Post, single men and women who’ve never been married get more exercise than couples in relationships. The reason for this is unknown though some experts theorize that singles are more conscious of their health and appearance. Regardless, you’ll reap the benefits of better health when single.
More Time to Read
If you’re a bookworm, you’ll have more time to read when single. Many men and women stop their personal hobbies once they enter into a long-term relationship. If you have a partner, for instance, you may struggle to find time to read. But when you’re single, you can laze around reading whenever you choose. Whether it’s a workday or the weekend, you’ll have plenty of time to knock out those books on your reading list.
When you’re in a serious relationship, you may distance yourself from friends. While usually not intentional, most people in relationships lose track of old friends. You may stop calling your old high school friend with whom you grew up, instead focusing your time and attention on your partner. When single, though, you’ll naturally want to foster stronger relationships. This means calling up your friends from high school as well as coworkers and social acquaintances.
Your Browser History And Social Media Profiles Are Safe
Finally, you don’t have to worry about someone scrutinizing your web browser history and social media profiles when single. Granted, not everyone will look through your computer or smartphone, but many partners are guilty of doing this to their significant other. It’s frustrating when you send a friendly message on Facebook, only for your partner to accuse you of flirting. Well, you are free to look at and post whatever you want online when single.
As you can see, there are many benefits to being single. From the cost-savings benefits of eating out to better health and stronger friendships, there are many reasons to embrace the single lifestyle. With that said, relationships offer their own benefits as well. So, choose your own path in life and find enjoyment in your present status whether single or in a relationship. If you need some more help and advice, there are loads of websites to help you manage issues, for example, get over betrayal.
Monica loves to write about television and film and is a regular contributor to www.bighivemind.com. When she’s not typing over a hot keyboard, Monica loves to keep fit by running, cycling and going to the gym.
Intellectual Intimacy Improves Romantic Communication
Intellectual intimacy is sharing whatever you are thinking and your skills. Intellectual intimacy can be your hopes, dreams, fears, and experiences. When your partner shares who they are inside and connect intellectually with you, they are trusting you with their secrets. They have removed the shield that guards their hearts.
Many people can have a romantic relationship that includes sex without being intellectually venerable as in a one night stand or causal relationship. A great example of intellectual intimate relationships are couples that share the same hobby, occupation, passion or addition: fishing, bondsman, cooking or controlled substance additions. Therefore, a successful relationship includes a degree of intellectual (good or bad) intimacy. It is through intellectual intimacy a couple becomes friends and bond outside of a physical or sexual connection.
Below are five attributes that increase intellectual intimacy:
Attitude. There is an old saying that “attitude determines aptitude”. People usually are attracted to and bond with others who have the same attitude as they do. If you have a positive attitude or desire one, then you will be attracted to someone who has a positive attitude. If you are a negative person, you will be attracted to people with negative attitudes.
Harry, age 25, tells what attracted him to his wife, Jan age 22, of two years, “I was having a bad day because of a difficult customer and an employee called in sick. Jan ran into me accidently in the store and almost knocked me down. I almost got angry but she looked up apologetic and gave me the most beautiful smile ever. I knew I wanted to get to know her. She has a beautiful attitude to go with that smile and because of her attitude we never have a problem communicating.”
Interesting. You find each other interesting and intellectual stimulating. Do you have a degree in the same field? Do you share a hobby? Every love song started with a story. Every business started with an idea. There is always an interest that start every romantic relationship. Sue age 43 met her husband, Cory age 47, at a trade conference event in New York for Children authors and publishers. Since that time seven years ago, they have self-published a few children books that sold mostly to friends and family but they love doing it. Sue said, “Cory and I love to write and see our finished product. We love traveling and meeting other authors who do the same thing. Next year we are planning to go to the Children’s Bologna Festival out of the country.”
Fun. People connect with others whom they enjoy talking with and spending time with. One person’s idea of fun may not be another’s but in order to enjoy each other’s company, there is some activity that the both of you enjoy. People bond over finding someone to have fun and hang out with because there is so much negativity in the world.
Kent age 33 an auto mechanic said, I enjoy spending time with Pamela age 35 a beautician because she is carefree and spontaneous. I can suggest dinner on the fly or a movie and she will make time to spend with me. She is a lot of fun. We don’t talk about other people or problems we enjoy each other’s company and that is refreshing.
Supportive – Maybe the two of you work on a stressful job and share experiences that others would not understand?According to a Priceonomics and US Census statistical report, agriculture workers, teachers, doctors, police officers, truck drivers, military personnel, and lawyers have a high degree of marriages among their occupations.
Dan a police officer age 31 married his police partner, Cherry age 29. Dan said, I married Cherry because as my partner in the squad, she understood the job and she “gets” me. Since we’ve gotten married, she has resigned because we are expecting our first child.”
Loyalty and values – Some couples bond over loyalty and moral values. For example, missionaries marry each other as they often find themselves in countries they are not familiar with but they are serving the same causes. Some couples will not date or marry outside of their religion or culture. No one wants to bond intellectually with someone they think they cannot trust. Therefore, loyalty is on everyone’s list.
Jake age 55 owns a popular bar and grill restaurant. He married one of his waitresses, Delta 53. Jake said, Delta worked for me for over 20 years. She knew my deceased wife and my family. I know her divorced husband and her kids. Delta knows the ups and downs of my business and we are both transplants from Ireland. We are of the same faith and culture. I trust her with my life and know from experience I can confide in her and she won’t embarrass me by repeating what I say. So I married her.”
In conclusion, Intellectual intimacy supports friendships and relationships in addition to a sexual relationship but an intellectual intimate connection can maintain a relationship on its own merit. Most intellectual intimate attributes that cause better communication in a romantic relationship are many: fun, attitude, interesting, supportive, loyalty and core values among a few.
Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
4 Less Known Ways How Gratitude Will Change Your Life
Changing your life may be quite a challenge, but the most important step you can make is to try and change the way you perceive the world around you. This modern era has brought us various issues, and it may be hard to focus on feeling thankful while there’s so much more you need to achieve. This may sound a bit corny, but quite a lot of studies have shown a clear link between feeling happy and being grateful.
We’ve done some researching and we’ve made this list in order to help you gain a better understanding of how and why the attitude of gratitude affects your lifestyle. There are various positive effects of this attitude, so let’s not waste any more time and let’s get straight to it.
Try not to get mad, but express gratitude instead
One of the main reasons anyone wants to change is because of the social interactions. When faced with an issue in a social surrounding, like for example your work, it can be very hard to keep your cool. Let’s say your coworker failed at their task. This leaves you with more work, and you’re probably going to get mad. If you manage to change the way you express yourself, you can achieve quite a lot.
In such situations try to calm down, focus on all the positive things you can about the coworker that failed. Think about everything good they might have done in the past, however difficult it may seem. Try to show your gratitude for all the positive things that person did, and it will affect your mood in a most positive way. It may take time to master this skill, but once you do you will improve both the way you perceive the world and how people around you feel about you. You will be able to form stronger relationships and you will gain people’s trust in an easy fashion.
Be grateful for life’s challenges
Facing any major change in life is a lengthy process, and it can be hard to truly understand the approach when your emotions are getting the best of you in such situations. What you must understand is that self-pity can’t get you anywhere. Facing a challenge in life should be another experience that makes you become the best version of yourself, so stop frowning and start being grateful.
Any challenge you may face, whether it’s a move to another city, country, or, in the worst case scenario, the death of someone close to you, can help you build your personality and learn a lot. Try to be grateful for everything that you’ve picked up along the way and you will soon become a person that complains way less. It can help you improve your career and become more popular, and it’s all up to you.
Become an inspiration
Various studies have shown that people tend to build better relationships and motivate one another when they express gratitude and when they show they’re humble. Being perceived as humble and grateful helps people around you elevate their productivity and overall relationships in the team, so focusing on building such character can help you out in the long run. The studies have also shown that even a single expression of gratitude helped increase the overall average time spent helping each other.
Learn how to bounce back with gratitude
Even when it comes to the hardest of times, expressing gratitude can seriously help your overall state of being and the way you deal with your problems. We are all social beings, and we all need at least some of the social interaction, especially in times of need. Being grateful for that interaction and showing that gratitude can help you with your coping mechanisms.
Experienced family lawyers state that the divorce parties that express grateful thinking and positive attitude don’t have many problems with coping and dealing with the aftermath of such a devastating event. With humble and grateful view of the world, you can deal with all of your problems easier than before.
You can get caught up in negative feelings quite easily, and once you do, it’s very easy to forget about the positivity and good people in your life. And while you may think there is a lot of room for improvement when it comes to your personality, there is certainly quite a lot you should be thankful for. Gratitude is a skill that needs practice, and you mustn’t be afraid to practice showing it. It will help you live a more fulfilling and overall positive life, so go for it.
Leila Dorari is a freelance writer and self-improvement enthusiast from Sydney. Currently, she is spreading the word on useful tips and tricks that can skyrocket one’s career odds. In her spare time, she is either window shopping or exploring new ways to make her life more meaningful.
5 Movies To Cheer You Up After a Break-Up
Breakups are normally emotionally challenging moments. You are typically overwhelmed with a storm of memories and feelings which makes you feel desolate and of no help. You ask yourself many questions. You no longer want to call or text them. You start convincing yourself that they will take you back. During such moments, you need your friends a lot. The support systems can help you heal and gain normalcy. Some romantic and ballbuster movies can be of help. A few ice creams or even action can get you going. The following movies can, therefore, help you to heal your broken heart and help you bounce back.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
This is a fantastic movie that will help you forget all the experiences that lead to a break-up. It is a hope-giving movie. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a great movie that offers you a way out and promises something better coming your way. Sarah Marshall is a movie that will help you to keep special people close in your life and maintain the secrets of doing so. This movie is not just a love story but also hilarious and talks about actual breakups. There is lots of fun in this movie. The beauty of it is just remarkable and it’s a reminder to you that you are better and deserve more than what has departed from you.
Silver Linings Playbook
It’s all about finding the silver lining in the clouds surrounding you. It calls for patience and perseverance after breakups. You need to soldier on and value those things and beings in your surroundings. They can be of great help in times of need. By watching this movie, you will find that you may have many breakups but there is always someone better for you. There are lots of laughs, cries, and shouts when you watch the Silver Linings Playbook. However, you will get out positive and optimistic to move on.
This is a must watch for all who have faced breakups. It brings out real break-ups. Through it, you will be able to release your overwhelming emotion. Cry, laugh or feel sad. It is a perfect movie because in it you will find conflict, the solution to it and love peeps in at the end. You will be able to know the do’s and don’ts in a relationship. Self-respect is key. By watching this movie, you will realize that after break-ups you should not keep on calling or texting the other person.
Relationships should be devoid of pressure because this will make one leave. The movie serves as an eye opener for many relationships because it will leave you feeling beautiful, strong and liberated. It’s quite imperative that you watch it so that you can take precautions in case you are foreseeing a breakup.
This movie is interestingly nice for breakups. It’s all about going through several breakups but soldering on to find who truly loves you. It denounces despair after breakups. You will find someone to fall in love with after a breakup. Your best soul mate might be on the next train waiting for you. Therefore, breakups are normal and keep us moving on. It’s a tear-jerker that will leave you smiling because it goes deep into your heartstrings. Through it, you will be able to look about for something new and forget the past. The movie will help you to kill your many emotions and feelings as well as keep the candle burning because the future is bright!
My Sister’s Keeper
Watching this movie will indulge you in a good cry about the old. This will, however, make you realize that life is not just about relationships and love. You will be able to appreciate your life and family, feel self-pity and sorry for yourself after going through the breakup. Through it, you will not stop crying, but desperation will end since there is the appreciation of self which is a better part of it. If Batman’s your thing, life is sweet even after breakups.
Watching these movies after breakups is good. They will bring you back and make everything great. Through them, you will get a grip of yourself and keep moving!
Monica loves to write about television and film and is a regular contributor to www.bighivemind.com. When she’s not typing over a hot keyboard, Monica loves to keep fit by running, cycling and going to the gym.
Why Sleeping Separately Could Help You Save Your Marriage
Sleeping together has long been a symbol of love, unity and prosperity of a relationship. When we first start dating someone that we really like, we all incline towards that moment when you both move in together, start sleeping in the same bed and waking up next to each other. It’s really romantic when you think of it that way – and that is exactly the problem. Romanticism has potentially done more harm than good when it comes to relationships, because it doesn’t really work in the real world.
Sure, a lot of couples are able to get by just fine sleeping in the same bed, and kudos to them. But whatever the reason may be that it’s getting you thinking that you might want to start sleeping apart from your partner, you’re not as crazy as you might think. The truth is, a lot of happy couples are perfectly content with sleeping in separate beds, and their married life hasn’t suffered because of it at all. Today I want to explore that particular topic a bit more, and in doing so I will hopefully help you make a decision that could improve the quality of your married life and get even closer with your spouse.
The Prejudice Involved
Humans are social creatures, and this means that it’s natural to care what other people think. No one wants to be branded a freak and a weirdo, which is why many people aren’t inclined to even suggest to their spouse that they might be better off sleeping together. Once you make this decision and start telling people about it, you’ll probably get a lot of weird looks, and immediately the conversation will go to your sex life (because, you know, the only place you and your partner are allowed to have intercourse is the bed – before bedtime).
This can be very uncomfortable for a lot of people, especially since the social pressure for sleeping together is so great. You see it everywhere, on TV, on all kinds of advertisements – a happy couple in bed is the default symbol of happiness within a relationship. However, if you really want to improve the quality of your married life, and sleeping with your spouse is keeping you from doing that, you shouldn’t care what other people think, and here are just a few reasons why you should consider doing it.
The Importance of Sleep
Getting enough sleep, especially when the kids come around is paramount to maintaining a healthy, functional relationship, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or have no idea what they’re talking about. Scientists don’t yet know why we require sleep at all and why we need so much of it, but it is obvious from empirical evidence that depriving ourselves of it is a bad idea.
First of all, a lack of sleep affects your immune system, which means that your body isn’t as good at fighting off viruses and bacteria and so you’ll ultimately get sick if you don’t sleep enough. This is why we always feel tired when we catch a bug – our bodies are telling us to rest and strengthen the immune system as much as possible, so we can get rid of the illness as fast as possible.
Sleeping less than five hours per night has shown to have a profoundly negative effect on heart health, so if you have a history of heart disease in your family losing sleep is something you definitely don’t want to be doing. And let’s not even get started how your mind and psyche suffer from a lack of sleep; have you ever tried to go to work after pulling an all-nighter? I have, and I can tell you that even the most mundane and simple tasks like adding up a few numbers become a struggle, simply because your mind hasn’t had time to rest from all the stuff you’ve had to focus on the previous day.
If you’re suffering from any or all of these ill effects that a lack of sleep can cause, it becomes very difficult to hold down a functional relationship. And if sleeping with your spouse is the cause of that lack of sleep, then it makes perfect sense to decide on sleeping apart from each other.
Snoring, “Active Sleepers” and Different Bedtimes
There are several reasons why some couples decide on sleeping apart. The first and most obvious one is snoring. For the last fifteen years I’ve been living a very healthy lifestyle; I’m eating well, I’m sleeping as much as I need to, I stay away from situations that cause excess stress, I spend a lot of time outside, I get a lot of exercise – and yet, I can’t stop snoring no matter what I try. Now this is not a big problem for me, but it was for my husband before we decided on sleeping in separate rooms. My snoring is so loud at times that I’ve actually gotten complaints from my neighbors! I’m not kidding.
Needless to say that it’s almost impossible for someone to fall asleep next to me if I start to snore like this, so the only solution for our particular situation was to set up another bed in the living room, which my husband now sleeps in. We still have cuddle time and we’re extremely affectionate with each other, and we even lay in the same bed until we decide that we want to fall asleep, at which point he leaves the room and goes to sleep in his own bed. This has done only good things for our relationship, so I really don’t see anything wrong with it.
The second reason is that one of you might be just a bit too active during sleep, tossing and turning so much that the other person can’t get a minute of shut eye. I’ve heard stories of people actually getting physically hurt, getting kicked in the groin or in the teeth by their overly active, unconscious spouse. This can be very troublesome, and no matter how big the bed is, this kind of stuff can still happen.
And finally, even if none of you snore, even if you’re perfectly peaceful while you slumber, maybe it just isn’t practical for you two to sleep in the same bed. Maybe you work opposite shifts or simply have radically different bedtimes. Sleeping in the same bed can cause a wide array of problems in such a situation, such as the other person not being able to do virtually anything in the same room because the other person is sleeping while you are awake. This is especially problematic if you don’t have a dedicated bedroom and sleep in your living room or something along those lines.
Sleeping in different beds as a married couple is definitely not one of the most popular ways to handle that particular situation, but it can be extremely effective, and from personal experience I can say it could help you improve the quality of your marriage and develop a more intimate bond with your spouse. It’s understandably hard to stray away from all the prejudice about not sleeping together, but just remember that it is, indeed, prejudice and nothing more.
No two relationships are the same nor do they work the same, so even if you’re the only two people in the world who sleep apart (you’re not), if it works for you, then why should you care what other people think? Your health, your happiness, and ultimately even the happiness of your children is what matters the most, and nothing should get in the way of that. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your marriage thrives, whether you decide to split the beds up or keep them together. Until next time!
Vanessa Davis is a former personal trainer, mother of two and blog writer at www.diet.st. When she isn’t writing she usually spends her free time playing with her children and her dogs.
Ever had that moment of blind rage where your sister says something catty, a coworker calls you out for something you didn’t do in a meeting, or someone cuts you off in traffic and you imagine leaping at them and drowning them in a shallow bowl of soup?
Your response is half right. You can still drown all of your enemies; just do it with positivity. Many of them may not realize they are being rude, they may be having a miserable day, or they might be fools who bumble about completely unaware.
Rage won’t solve anything and will only compound the negative effects of stress that you are feeling. Instead, help these bumbling fools to be better by drowning them in complete, honest positivity. It’s the best way to stop them from being idiots who upset you and it’s the best way to maintain your interpersonal relationships. Help them be better by being better yourself!
Why It Works
If your positivity is genuine, then drowning your enemies in it has several possible outcomes: they will see your side quicker, any problem solving needed will be more effective, it will improve your mood, it will help out a potentially negative situation, and won’t escalate the situation. You don’t want to be upset, since being upset is silly and mostly useless.
Plus, if you are in the wrong (heaven forbid), sitting down and talking about it calmly will help you realize where you went wrong. Which is much better than developing a bad case of foot-directly-in-the-mouth disease.
How to Stay Positive
Staying positive sounds so easy. It’d be wonderful if we could all be robots with fixed smiles that other humans agreed were real and genuinely helpful, but that’s not really how people work. There’s a few tricks you can do to ensure that you don’t snap, give that creepy “I’m so angry smile,” or burn down your office building because Stacy doesn’t have her stuff together. You can stay positive even when things get a little hectic.
Exercise, Eat Well,& Be Healthy
Exercise is no fun. It can be exhausting. You can make exercise fun, but if you aren’t into running or moving or anything that involves leaving a climate-controlled version of a Roman reclining chair with high speed Wi-Fi, you can rest assured in your sweaty hell that you are making yourself happier in the long term. Exercise helps you stay generally positive, especially things like yoga and pilates which involve deep breathing and dynamic stretching. It’s a wonderful mood improver to add into your life on a regular basis. Being healthy is good for your mood and reduces the amount of sporadic mood swings that can occur. Taking care of your own emotional state is a big part of remaining positive when you feel upset.
Boom! A fire of rage and sass hit the top of your mouth and you’re about to let the razor tongue slip across all the words that your cousin just spilled out of her mouth, tearing them into a thousand shreds. They will be shredded just like the useless nonsense they are, and your cousin will feel the same for having made them. Stop, for half a second, give a filler phrase, and start asking her about what she said.
Step #1: Stop.
Step #2: Filler phrases like “that is an interesting perspective” or “Hm. Tell me more about it.” can give you time to defuse a situation, maybe disassociate a little if their rant has nothing to do with you, and figure out why what they said upset you.
Step #3: Talk to them about why it upset you. Or if it’s a personal problem, keep it out of their hair. Did they use faulty information? Is their point a common misconception? Could you use this time to educate the ill-informed person who just made you really frustrated? Perhaps ask them about why they think what they said.
There’s no rage. There’s no anger. If the reason you are upset is external, which means that you are not in the wrong, it is a perfect time to teach a lesson. They may not know the same rules that you do. They may not be as well informed as you. It’s a time to bring more people into your mindset. It’s time to drown them in positive love and support while giving them all the tools to succeed where they have failed to recognize your emotional needs. It’s also how you win any battle. It’s never the person who yelled louder that appears to win from a spectator’s point of view. Keeping the goal of winning with positivity in your mind’s eye can help you stay calmer. You are going to get your enemies on your side!
Should You *Sometimes* Break Eggs
There is a time and place for you to break some eggs — to get angry. It’s hopefully pretty rare. You’ve learned to drown your enemies in positivity, and how to give them the tools to be helpful members of society instead of jerks. But when is it appropriate to bring out your rage?
There’s a ton of times to bring out your rage: When someone litters. When a coworker gets bullied. When boxing. Bringing out your rage will help for immediate reactions.
Don’t slap someone. But there are times to yell. Times that you don’t have an infinite world to sit and explain and help someone be better. Yell at litter bugs. Yell at people who start illegal fires. Yell at subway gropers. But be selective with your rage. Negative reinforcement doesn’t help anyone stop being a bad/annoying/fiery rage-inducing insect of a human being.
Drown your enemies in positivity. You probably have to spend some time with them and you definitely want them to stop being terrible. Win every battle, create friends out of your enemies, and keep being positive.
Mary Grace is a magical unicorn of a human being from the gorgeous Boise, Idaho. She loves hiking, skiing, and human interactions with technology. Email her anytime at email@example.com or connect with her on Twitter.