Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship: South Korea Edition

 

Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship: South Korea Edition

 

 

This week, freelance writer Alex Quayle shares her story with She Is Fierce! on love and tackling the ups and downs of long distance dating. 

 

 

When I was finally hired as an English teacher in South Korea, it was bittersweet. Finally, after planning for this moment for years (six to be exact) I had achieved one of my biggest dreams — a trip of a lifetime. I had longed to live in South Korea since I was 16 years old and my new place of work was in a great location just outside of Seoul, known for its beautiful azaleas.

 

Admittedly, after accepting my job offer, I was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of grief. Along the journey towards one of my most sought-after goals, I met the one person who I really, really didn’t want to leave behind. Every relationship has its challenges; however, long-distance relationships present a whole different set of obstacles to overcome together.

 

I consider myself extremely lucky as my partner was able to join me for a few months throughout my stay in South Korea. Nevertheless, there was still plenty of time apart — not just apart, but in completely different time zones (I was almost always a day ahead of him). This narrowed down the amount of time we could actually speak to each other. This limited time was shortened even further because I was working throughout the day, and working very, very hard. This meant I had little time to check my phone during the few hours we were both awake.

 

Considering that communication is an essential part of any healthy relationship, I found myself angry, upset, and lonely. Of course I was enjoying my time in South Korea (see pictures below), but the part of me that missed my partner weighed heavily on my mind, and soon I found myself carrying around a toxic, gloomy monster with me each day. Now, a year later, I wished I’d had someone around to tell me it gets better during those painful moments apart. While everyone’s relationship is different, I think having more conversations about what happens when you’re hemispheres apart could really benefit the way we handle this kind of challenge.  

 

The Truth

 

Let’s get this on the table right now: You’re going to fight. That statement isn’t meant to scare you but hopefully give you assurance that fighting is pretty normal when working through a long-distance relationship. For me, the fighting often happened after I’d had a rather draining day at work, and I would attempt to call my partner, only to find that he was too busy enjoying drinks with our friends or something of the sort. Of course he would try to answer, but I would get flustered every time someone interrupted us (which was a lot) or the music got too loud.

In hindsight, I was jealous of my partner and clearly overwhelmed by all the changes. He was hanging out with our friends, at our favorite bars and restaurants, except I was on the other side of the world and couldn’t even get him to focus long enough to have a worthwhile conversation. At the time though, I felt completely left out, like my partner didn’t care about me. Social media didn’t help either, making me feel forgotten by my friends as well. Did they ask about me? Did they miss me? My partner and friends were enjoying everything I missed about home without me — I felt invisible.

  

 

I hope you haven’t rolled your eyes too hard at me yet. In my defense my emotions were definitely off-kilter during those first several weeks in Korea. While I was beyond thrilled to be teaching my precious kindergarten classes and enjoying so many new experiences — amazing food, new music, breathtaking sites — part of me felt as though my partner didn’t care. When you’re miles apart, often the little things can quickly become big things. Things I wouldn’t normally get upset about when we were in the same city suddenly became fighting points, especially if I had had a bad day. I also think I was feeling particularly solemn because I couldn’t share any of these amazing experiences with my partner.

 

Moreover, communication is significantly different when using technology like Skype and instant messaging, and when you’re forced to use it exclusively to “see” each other, things get complicated. The biggest issue for me was that my partner could no longer quickly notice when I was agitated, which lead to me thinking he wasn’t paying attention, and then I’d clam up. After I would shut down, it was nearly impossible to have a deep conversation, and because of that we were growing apart — emotionally and physically.

 

Starve The Monster

 

When you find it difficult to describe to your partner how you’re feeling or it seems impossible to resolve any sort of conflict, it’s as if an insatiable monster arrives, and you end up handing it its next meal every time you get on the phone. However, as experts at My Florida Law aptly explain, “Resolving conflict requires that both partners are honest, willing to communicate, and willing to consider their partner’s perspective, even when they don’t understand it.”

 

Reflecting back, my unwillingness to tell my partner exactly what I was feeling during those first weeks was the root of our problems. It wasn’t until we were pulled so thin and a breakup seemed almost inevitable, I finally told him: “When I call and you’re out with friends or at the store, it makes me feel like you don’t care to make time for us.” I remember feeling the monster shrink a few sizes that day as my partner finally understood what was hurting me so badly.

 

Communication is vital for any healthy, successful relationship, but it becomes even more essential to have in your pocket when you’re in a long-distance situation. I also realized that I was being unfair to my partner by not explaining to him what I needed. I didn’t give him or myself a chance to succeed with this whole Skype and messaging system. I had the right tools in front of me, but I was failing to utilize them. The monster between us continued shrinking as I began working harder to appreciate this shift in our dynamic relationship. I also had to learn how to forgive him when he couldn’t answer the phone or was busy during our scheduled meeting time. When my partner was finally able to join me for a bit in South Korea, instead of spending time trying to mend our relationship, we effortlessly found our stride again. I was able to show him the place I had called home for the past few months.

 

A Love That Can Last

 

There was also a surprise at the end of our time together in South Korea, which might have never happened if we hadn’t pushed through the hardest trial our relationship had ever experienced:

 

When my partner had to return back to the States once again and I stayed to finish out my year in South Korea, there was a remarkable difference with how we endured the distance. I had a better understanding of myself, him, and our relationship. Ultimately, for us, although the distance was at times unbearable, we were able to bloom into something better.

 

While not everyone needs to experience a long-distance relationship to strengthen their connection, it’s important for me to express how the love I have for my partner is more vibrant than ever before because he could have easily thrown in the towel before I even got on the plane. Instead, through all the bickering, and perhaps too many tears, he remained steadfast and grew with me, which eventually defeated that ugly monster between us, and in its place, he gave me all the proof I needed to see that we could survive anything together.

 

 

Alex Quayle currently lives in Boise, Idaho with her partner, cat, and dwarf hamster. She can never say no to coffee, doughnuts, and good conversation. Follow her on Twitter @alexquayle33 for more articles and pictures of her cute, little family.

 

 

 

Three Ways To Reconnect With Your Inner Strength

 

Three Ways To Reconnect With Your Inner Strength

 

Even as a young child, I believed in the power of my own ferocity. I was perhaps seven or eight when I recognised I had this pool of ‘inner power,’ and I used it to climb a tree in front of the other kids. I subsequently fell out, but we can gloss over that aspect for now…

Many explorations into inner strength focus on discipline, on physical exercise ability, or on ‘tempering’ the inner fire. But what I’m speaking of here is that inner pull, that spark which drives us forwards.

 

Find Your Fire

 

One of the most common ways to identify that inner spark is to think of the situations and experiences which have tested us, which we are passionate about or get angry over. As a young girl, I was discouraged from expressing anger.

However, from a scientific point of view, anger is an innate intuition which tells us to change something. It’s motivational. Thus, often what drives us, and the core values behind that can fuel us.

I tried all kinds of ways to manage my fire growing up, from karate lessons (I reached green belt) and Anger Management courses for teenagers to writing poetry and making art. But something in me was always connected to this spring of ‘knowing’ that I had a role to play. That my fire was meant to enlighten, not destroy.

~ What drives you forward, how would you answer “why do you do this?” What answers were you seeking by clicking on this article? Identify that, and you’ll find the embers ready to ignite.

 

Aim Your Focus

 

One of the first steps to fan those flames is to focus on your values.

Looking back on the positive or exciting things in your life, what was the core value beneath the event or experience? For some, this is community. For others, it’s about truth and honour. For some things, it’s feeling valued or valuable.

Thinking about the things in common with our favourite events or experiences can help us to identify those opportunities better in the past.

~ What ‘values’ do you value in your life? Do you pick cheap over organic? Would you value a home-made drawing over your ‘wish-list birthday item?’ Identify your values and head towards them, and you’ll fan the flames of your inner drive.

 

Mix Dreaming with Doing

 

Once you know what motivates you to keep moving forward, and you’re able to find those opportunities to reconnect with the underlying values, the last method of connecting with your inner strength is to meld dreams with practicality.

It’s one thing to craft the vision, to imagine a future or to set the goal.

It’s another to craft the map, to design the path ahead and then walk it, step by step.

But dreams without action, stay dreams.

~ What baby step could you take to move forward? Because that choice of bravery and courage is another connection with your inner strength.

 

I’m not saying there isn’t a part for discipline and temperance in managing our inner strength, but without the deeper motivation, direction and action, progress is slow, if it happens at all. Much like any process, being aware of what oils the machine, refills our well or how we tick can help us make the most informed, and thus often the best decisions for our path ahead.

 

Katy-Rose helps introverts, questing seekers and practical dreamers to build up their toolkit of skills so they can get clear on the path to complete their personal quest and goals, with the strategies to be productive, avoid overwhelm and keep burnout at bay.  Why? Because many of us are taught algebra and about local geography landmarks, yet no-one is equipped in schools or the workplace with the skills to manage the doubts, the pressures and the uncertainty of moving through this life; let alone doing so while feeling empowered and fulfilled. We map out the path to feeling in control of that life direction.

 

 

Finding Confidence In The Experience Of Motherhood

 

Finding Confidence In The Experience Of Motherhood

 

In a world of Instagram perfection, it can be difficult to feel like the strong, confident momma that is living within you…sometimes deep, deep down within you (but I promise, she is there).  

Your feed is flooded with beautiful images of other mothers’ babies who always look perfectly content, without a tear or tantrum in sight.  Better yet, there are countless pictures of well-put-together mommas who look like they have somehow managed to pull off a full 8 hours of sleep, all without a drop of spit up or baby goop staining their clothes (and did I mention, they are wearing “real” clothes…not the leggings and baggy sweater that you’ve worn three days in a row, and that your husband now lovingly refers to as your “mom uniform”).  

Who are these women?  How are they so perfect?  How did they find the time to shower, let alone put on makeup? Why don’t their babies seem to keep them up all night nursing at the all-you-can-eat milk buffet? What are their secrets and what am I doing wrong?  These are the nagging questions that run through our minds as we casually scroll through our social media feeds and see all of this blissful “perfection.”  

The truth is, we are all guilty of this.  We post the happiest (and often, highly edited) moments of our life, not the poop-covered, red-eyed, sleep deprived, frizzy, 3-day old hair moments.  There is no shame in that.  I have done it too, and there’s nothing wrong with sharing sweet and well-thought-out images of our beloved babies.  After all, we spent 9 months carrying these little humans, and we deserve to show them off and feel that good mommy pride that comes with a beautiful moment captured on our iPhones.  

The only downside is that in sharing only the good stuff, we may sometimes give a false sense of perfection to our fellow mommas in the trenches.  I’m all for a beautifully lit, golden hour photo of you and your baby sweetly strolling along the beach. Hell, I frequently chase after those shots myself, but I like to balance out all that prettiness with some realness too.  

Aside from raising our babies in the best way we can, our next job as mothers is to keep it real with one another and build each other up so we can experience self-confidence that is so well-deserved and long overdue.  Motherhood is amazing…it truly is, but it also has some messiness.  By showing the full picture of what motherhood is – grittiness and all, we are keeping it real with ourselves and with the other moms out there who really could use the reassurance that being a mother doesn’t always look picture perfect.

In the early stages of new motherhood, we are especially susceptible to feeling less than confident in damn near every decision we make.  While this is perfectly normal, these feelings of insecurity should never be allowed to consume us. When in doubt of your own abilities as a mother, reach out to a fellow momma friend or even your own mother, and I promise you will find that she has experienced the very same thing – and somehow, made it out the other side.

Although, confidence frequently comes from within, it is also something that we can help to inspire in others through both sharing our adoration of motherhood and commiserating with one another during the more trying times.  It feels good to bond over the many commonalities of motherhood and to empower our own self-confidence in the process. Embrace the flaws…because they are real, and what make us human.

More importantly, when we take a step back and realize that these images we are scrolling through are just a sliver of a person’s life, not to be compared to our own, we can all feel confident in knowing that this idealistic “super mom” is about as real as the boogieman. After bringing life into this world, you can truly do anything, momma.  Remind yourself of that daily and give yourself grace because you are everything your little ones need, and you are downright amazing.

 

 

Meg is a Motherhood & Lifestyle blogger from nofomomma.com, where she writes about raising her toddler daughter, Violet, with her husband, Erik, in the bucolic farm and wine country of the North Fork of Long Island. Meg enjoys sharing her adventures in motherhood and writing about engaging lifestyle topics in parenting, wellness, DIY projects, beauty and family friendly recipes. In addition to blogging, Meg works as a family law attorney.

 

Valuable Things That Business School Won’t Teach You

 

Valuable Things That Business School Won’t Teach You

 

Sure, it’s great to have on your resume if you went to a highly esteemed business school, but that isn’t what makes the difference between a good and a great employer. The corporate rat race can be a winding and difficult road, but the qualities that will carry you through the tough times are essentially the same as they are in any other field: focus, gratitude, humility, and patience.

These are the timeless traits that will make you into an effective force no matter what you choose to do with your life. There are plenty of people with distinguished qualifications, but they fail to ever become a force to be reckoned with because they lack these qualities.

Here are some skills which are essential for your future success, things that school can’t always teach:

Listening Skills

 

While MBA programs are quick to emphasize things like presentation skills, it is rare that the focus is on listening skills. Listening makes up half of communication, so it must not be overlooked. Some people may think speaking is the most important part of the equation, and assume that listening is simply for the weak or incompetent, but nothing is further from the truth.

Listening can make you a better leader, as you are taking in more information before making your decisions. If you do not listen to your team, you are simply unfit to steer the ship in an effective way because you are choosing to only view the situation from one perspective: your own.

Learning to Work Together

 

This is a skill that goes hand in hand with listening skills. You need to be able to work synergistically with those around you, whether they are employees or coworkers.

While you don’t need to be friends with everyone outside of work, learning to work effectively with all types of personalities is a must for success. Many companies today are making great strides in regard to managing teamwork via project management software. This is something for a business owner to consider if the team as a whole is struggling.

Focus On Goals

 

Without setting your sights on something tangible to accomplish, you and the team will be improperly oriented for success. Setting goals will amp up focus and morale, and lead to incredible results. Sure, simply aiming to “do well” in whatever you do is a noble mindset, but when it comes down to the reality of directing a business, you need to put more concrete concepts of success in mind.

It’s a good idea to have a goal that is challenging but still attainable. In much the same way you wouldn’t go to the gym and immediately try to bench press 300lbs, you do not want to place the bar too highly in your business endeavors.

Think of goals as periodic stretches of your company’s ability, just as you would add weights slowly to a bar. These challenges will be engaging to those participating, while also expanding everyone’s abilities in the process. There’s no discovering the potential of a company without strategically pushing the limits.

Utilizing Latest Technology

 

They likely go over different technologies in business school, but the landscape of what’s possible changes every single day. Automation is a facet that can readily be applied to your business model to stellar results.

In the past, long despised duties like accounting or billing required valuable man hours. Fortunately, high quality AP automation software and inventory software are now options instead, which hold enormous potential for saving money, time, and stress.

Proper Etiquette

 

When people are churned out of school with an MBA, many times they are regarded as rude, condescending, or otherwise too casual. Be careful not to overestimate how much other people care about your MBA.

Business veterans will tell you there is a standard of manners and grooming which are unspoken yet entirely crucial. Being mindful of the importance of etiquette
can go a long way.

Be Grateful

 

Keep in mind that there are many people worse off than you, no matter how much a certain situation at work is bothering you. If you saw one of your peers get promoted, don’t be mad that it wasn’t you. Instead, look at the situation realistically and be honest with yourself. There was probably a perfectly feasible reason why that person got the promotion and you didn’t. Perhaps they were there longer, or emanate helpfulness in a way that you don’t. Instead of being mad, simply assess the situation and learn from it.

Patience

 

Nowadays, when people enter their first job, many times they convey a sense of entitlement, which is disconcerting to other people. Nobody likes a person that comes in to the office expecting everyone to owe them something, they do not.

You need to remember that even the highest ranking CEO’s once needed to earn their keep early on. Don’t assume that just because you graduated from school that the education ends there; learning is a lifelong process and it always will be.

 

 

Gil Artmoore has spent the past two decades working various roles in IT departments for many businesses, small and large. Recently, he started writing out the things he’s learned, experienced, and witnessed in the small business/tech world during his career. He is eager to share his insights with the rest of the world.

 

 

10 Tips On Starting A Home-Based Business With Your Spouse

10 Tips On Starting A Home-Based Business With Your Spouse

With extreme inflation impacting each household, savings are at a constant drop. The annual increment in your income is never enough! Under such a scenario, who would mind a source of extra income? Starting something of your own becomes an interesting opportunity to keep the money flowing. Isn’t it?

This is a great opportunity for all those who dream of setting up a home-based business. Now the perspective that we bring here is about venturing into this space with your spouse. How would you like that? Does anyone dream about co-managing a business with their partners? Agreed, that it is a great risk. Even when your partnership at home works well, doesn’t mean that you could be great at doing business together. Frankly, it can go either way.

So before you take the first step, it is advisable to understand the pre-requisites of a business that you share with your spouse.

Co-Existence

For those who are starting the venture and one partner acts as a silent partner, it still seems manageable. However, in case both of you are acting partners, it is a lot to think about. If you feel that you will not be able to deal with the constant scrutiny or deal with the others’ presence day in and out. Think through this idea again!

  1. Are You On the Same Page: Why do you want to start the venture? Do you both agree on the aim? Are you working towards the same goals? Have you thought everything through thoroughly together? This includes your budget, who you’re with for your business electricity (you should be with the cheapest option), how you’re going to advertise your business, etc. Even a slight misalignment of the goals can cause great rifts between the greatest working partners. And, your marriage can be at stake here.
  2. Think of a Business Plan: Each business requires a plan to begin with: outlining your investments, your competitors, your target areas, and the defined ways to achieve them. If you’re not sure what to do but you are confident you want to start a business from home, you could have a look into some products to sell on shopify? Once you outline the draft, you could take opinion from a business consultant to understand the viability of it all. Make sure that your plan includes security. This is something most home businesses forget about and so their resources get stolen and they can’t do any work. Make sure you have planned for a home security camera alarm system.
  3. Separate out the Family and Business Matters: Howsoever smartly you begin your business with your spouse, family matters will keep cropping up. Shut that door, then and there. You need to understand that both issues have different requirements and space in life
  4. Define Roles: Define yours and your spouse’s role, along with the role of your support staff. Outline the KRAs and Competency parameters. You will need all of these to align roles appropriately.
  5. Communication: Keeping lines of communication open is a pre-requisite. Do not shut doors on each other’s’ ideas. It will lead to mayhem. Give each other both: the required space and opportunities to express, whenever desired.
  6. Act as a Team: You are a team, so act like one. Especially in front of your customers.
  7. Plan for Contingencies: Always start a business upon planning for contingencies. You must always have a Plan B. Help each other out whosoever’s fault it is.

The abovementioned tips will surely come handy if and whenever you decide to launch a business with your spouse. Now, let’s take a look at some of the best business ideas in this context:

  1. Home Based Dealership: You can initiate a clothing business by bringing in traditional/low priced outfits directly from the merchants and reselling them online/physical store. You are effectively benefitting the merchant by removing multiple channels of sales. Enhancing their profit and yours too.
  2. Manpower Services: You could well open an employment services firm that deals with blue collared workers or some white collared jobs as well. Connect with few companies or factories, requiring a regular inflow of works men on a contractual basis. You can then advertise your services to regions with high density of works men like welders, craftsmen, mechanics etc.
  3. Home Tutoring: This is one of the most chosen for, home-based businesses by women everywhere. It is the sheer nature and joy that something like this brings about. The educated women of today are dealing with several responsibilities, both at home and work front. In cases wherein they are unable to do a full-time job, outside of the home, they can easily tutor children. This could be done through one-on-one classes, batches of classes at their own home or home tutoring by online/offline means. There are several online portals that assist students seeking home tuitions with tutors having the desired qualifications.
  4. Freelance Writing: Both you and your spouse can be great freelance writers. You can choose to expand your team of writers, as the work grows. Initiate by reaching out to companies that outsource a lot of writing work, from their website content to regular blogs, and articles.
  5. Creative Gifting Solutions: Home-based entrepreneurs like these use the easily available material to create creative gifts for children’s parties, return gifts, gift baskets etc. You could try and research on the net, to learn few essential tricks and identify cheap marketplaces to order the raw material from.
  6. Home Baking: Ok, who wouldn’t want a piece of cake? Why not bring in your spouse for helping you with the piling orders. Let one of you look at the inventory of material, manage the orders, and deliver them. While the baking expert can create marvels through his/her baking skills.
  7. Graphics Designing: Graphic designers help us all by designing the flyers advertising our businesses, informational pamphlets, advertisements etc. For home entrepreneurs like ‘home bakers’, a product catalogue will come in very handy. Wherein, clients can have a look at the different kinds of bread, cakes, and pastries they can order from.
  8. Virtual Assistant: Employers worldwide are looking for virtual assistants to help them with day to day planning. You can organize meetings, respond to emails, enter the data or update their social media accounts.
  9. Transcriptionist: You just need the gifted power of ‘listening’. Listen to the audio file and write what you hear. You could be working for a lecturer giving online lectures or a speaker. Just type in the speech in the desired language, without any grammatical and factual errors.
  10. Corporate Trainers: Sitting at home, you can work as a corporate trainer and guide employees of a company on a chosen topic. It could be a team building session or a session on improving their communication skills.

These are some of the ways and means wherein you can involve yourself and your spouse in fruitful home-based businesses. If you keep in mind the tips shared in the article, it will be a smooth course for both of you. You could then take your pick from amongst the given ideas of business.

Monica Gill is self-driven person currently associated with SmileTutor the best maths tuition agency in Singapore. She is passionate about writing and collecting new books. She loves traveling whenever she needs time off of her busy schedule. Her favorite holiday destination is Hawaii.

How Sleep Improves Your Love Life

 

How Sleep Improves Your Love Life

 

Not getting enough of the good stuff? No not sex. Sleep, I mean of course.

Although, come to think of it – if you’re not getting enough sex either it’s likely your sleep patterns have a lot to do with it.

Most of us are aware that poor sleep contributes to a host of conditions such as obesity, diabetes and heart disease, as well as shortening how long we live. But how many of us are aware that poor sleep is affecting our love life.

Below we look at four ways better sleep actually improves your love life. A quick warning, after reading this post chances are you’re going to want to invest in a bigger bed – for a number of reasons. If so check out the Sleep Advisors recent update. It’s a buyer’s guide!

 

 

Sleep improves your appearance

 

Looking good improves your confidence. And confidence is sexy.

A good night’s rest improves your appearance. Don’t act too surprised, it’s called getting your beauty sleep for a reason.

Burning the candle at both ends for a prolonged period of time and your face will quickly start to show the effect. You will soon find bags forming under your eyes, red and swollen eyelids, paler skin, wrinkles and a drooping mouth. And the drooping won’t stop there!

Not only that, your waistline is likely to start creeping outwards too. Sorry!

Such is the impact of poor sleep on our appearance that when researchers from Sweden showed participants photos of sleep-deprived individuals alongside pictures of well-rested people – the sleep-deprived group were judged to be not only less attractive but also less healthy.

So, if you’re on the lookout for a new lover, or you just want to keep the one you have interested, maybe hit the hay a little earlier tonight – and opportunity for a roll in it will increase tomorrow.

 

Sleep improves your libido

 

Being too tired is often cited as the most common reason given by women for not having sex with their partner.

Rather than simply being an ‘excuse’ to get out of an unwanted obligation it seems tiredness is actually one of the biggest roadblocks to a healthy sex-life.

A recent study by the Journal of Sexual Medicine indicates that if a woman in a romantic relationship get just one extra hours sleep per night, her sex drive increases by whopping 14%. More sleep equals more sexual desire.

So to any guys reading this, the next time your girl is complaining about your snoring keeping her awake at night, it may be time to do something about it! You might get well-rewarded!

 

Sleep makes sex more enjoyable

 

Not only does more sleep increased sexual desire, a growing body of evidence suggests that more sleep improves how sex feels.

It’s estimated up to 20% of women have issues with lubrication – of which there can be multiple causes including plain old poor foreplay to the impact of menopause. But sleep expert Dr David Kalmbach from the University of Michigan also believes that poor sleep could also be factor here too.

Kalmbach suggests that relationship between ‘sleep and sexual response’ is often overlooked and that research indicates that improved rapid-eye-movement (REM) sleep in women is associated with increased blood flow to the vagina, and with that comes easier arousal.

What’s more, Kalmbach suggests that more sleep increases the levels of androgen produced by the brain. Androgen being a hormone that plays an important role in sexual desire. A win win situation!

 

Sleep strengthens your relationship

 

Of course, improving your love life is not all about having more sex, it’s also about strengthening other aspects of your relationship. And once again sleep has a big role to play here too.

First off, sleep affects the ways couples argue. Now, that’s not to say that a good night’s sleep stops all disagreements from happening, of course it doesn’t! But it does shape how hostile those arguments can be.

Sleep-deprived couples tend to have more ‘destructive’ arguments involving more barbed language, more bitterness and less empathy.

Well-rested couples more often than not have ‘productive’ rows, which cover more constructive topics,  involve both sides showing empathy and a sense of humour, and often ended with conciliation.

Secondly, sleep improves our sense of humour. Finding things funny relies strongly on high level cognition, something sleep is essential for. A lack of sleep impairs our ability to appreciate verbal humour in particular.

So if you’re worried your partner isn’t as funny as they used to be – chances are it’s not that their jokes have suddenly got worse – just that you’re too tired to appreciate them like you used to. Get a few more hours sleep and the you’ll soon be giggling away at their terrible one-liners again. Believe me!

Well, there you have it four reasons why taking sleep more seriously may have a seriously good impact on your love life. You are welcome!

 

 

Sarah Cummings is a writer for The Sleep Advisor and all-round sleep nerd.  She believes that sleeping properly makes us healthier and happier people – she doesn’t let anything get in the way of her beloved snooze time.

 

 

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