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I'm Kelly - the founder of She Is Fierce! and your host on our blog featuring stories and wisdom from fierce women all over the world! 

Fierce Living

“…but he has so much potential”

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How many times have you dated a guy and thought to yourself, “He has such great potential but…”

Stop.  Just stop right there.

You can casually date a guy for potential but DO NOT date a guy and think of future wedding plans if you in any way shape or form you use “…but he has so much potential” in any sentence you use to describe him.

po·ten·tial  adjective – having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future.

Showing the capacity is NOT the same as doing! He can have potential all his life, make sure he is actively doing, achieving or done with, and that it’s not just a great idea.

Stop falling for a guys potential! We have so many ideas of what we think we want in a guy that we sacrifice and break our own standards just to have “a man”.  No body is perfect but don’t go for surface stuff when down the road you will only regret and complain about giving in to things because you dropped your standards for what you truly desire.

Don’t find yourself roped into a relationship where you are living together because he just ‘wasn’t ready’ either. More than likely he will never be ready, he got his cake and is enjoying every minute of it.

I read recently how Audrey Hepburn – an elegant, classic icon – did not waste her time with potential.  She knew how to wrap men around her finger, and not in a manipulative way; everyone loved her.  Do you think she cared when men tried to make her jealous? Hell no! She laughed them off.  She had men falling at her feet but she also knew when it was time to get out, she was divorced two times before she found the love of her life.

If you find someone with major emotional issues, do not play mommy or therapist, it will only take you down a road that is exhausting and will not fill you up to help you be the irresistible woman that you are.  He needs to work out his issues and that desire must come from him, not from you!  If he is willing to change for himself that is great, but you deserve a man with value and will in return treat you with high value.  When we give in to the needs of the emotionally starved man it ends up leaving us bitter, resentful and unfulfilled.

Choose a life of immense joy.  When you choose to be with a man who fills you up emotionally and physically by treating you like the irresistible vixen that you are, than life only gets better.

Girls chase and put men on pedestals. Women are bold enough to tell you exactly what they want and how they feel, in a very matter of fact and feminine way.

Make the choice to stop dating a man’s potential, do not ask for perfection but keep your head and standards high.

 


Michelle McReavy, She is Fierce! Contributor

Michelle McReavy

Michelle McReavy is a transformational dating & breakup coach. When it comes to marriage, dating, second marriages and what comes with it all, she has had her fair share.  Her passion is helping women feel irresistible to themselves and to others by managing the dating minefield. She has 2 teenage boys, 3 stepkids and a husband currently in his masculine/feminine training.

Connect with Michelle… www.michellemcreavy.com, Facebook,Twitter, Instagram

  1. Michelle,

    Congratulations on an extremely well written and on target article!

    All too often, women of all ages get caught up in the hope and thrill of the seductive potential spiral and place their bets on the potential going up when, in fact, that spiral usually goes down. A tough lesson that has caught many by surprise and dashed more dreamy hearts than one can count.

    Thank you for making this a clear, focused, and smooth read. I’m sharing it everywhere!

    Dr. Heidi Maston

    • Heidi,
      Thank you so much for your comment, I appreciate it so much. It is a spiral we can put ourselves in and hope to keep women from doing it less and focusing on finding the best partner that fit’s them and their highest choices.

      Michelle

  2. Lola WHite says:

    It is incredible how in a blink of an eye this registered with me. The topic, flow, and down right on point. All too often we find ourselves saying this or hearing other women. It’s such a great point for the women to recognize her potential in not settling. I loved every piece. Thank you for posting sweet!! you are well on your way. This is your element.

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